Untitled
by NuttyElla
Summary: Fire burns. Sometimes it goes out completely. Or so you think, when it's really just smoldering beneath the ashes. And other times it can flare up and scorch your eyebrows off.
1. The End

Before you start reading, let me warn you: _this is my first fan-fiction, ever. _I know a gazillion people write that in their author's note, so now it's a gazillion and one.

Anyway, I'm trying to make this a realistic story and it's my version of what is going to happen in the second season of Instant Star (which airs in February which is total BS!). I have absolutely no clue what's going to happen, but several ideas are floating around in my head that I plan to use if people like this story.

Long author's notes can be _very_ entertaining and fun to read, but unfortunately I don't think mine is so I'll just shut up and let you get on with the story. Oh, if the formatting or something turns out really funny I'll try and do it again but I'm not quite sure how it works on this site so I guess we'll see...

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Instant Star, the characters, any songs that are used, blah, blah blah...but I am required to dream of owning Little Tommy Q...(sigh)

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**Chapter 1: The End**

_I can't have anything I want  
__They say I'm just too young  
__But it's not my fault  
__I'll find my own way home if I gotta  
__I'll make it all alone_

_24 hours  
__24 hours  
__24 hours  
__24 hours  
__24 hours_

Her breathing was heavy, like it usually was at the end of a performance, but Jude barely noticed it as she gazed out at the frenzied crowd, jumping and screaming and ultimately looking happy. From the wattage of the smile on her face you would guess that she was happier than all of her fans put together, which is exactly how she wanted to look. Because it was the opposite of how she actually felt.

It was finally over. Her first tour for her first album, and she just finished singing the last song of the last performance. Hard to believe that the six weeks had already flown by and it was time to go home. _Home_. At least to what was left of it, and Jude really didn't want to find out how what that was.

That was the main reason why she was felt so down. Of course Jude was sad that her first tour was over, but she didn't want to go home and face anything or anyone. There are too many people at home that are too close to her and care too much. That's what was great about the tour--she didn't know anyone and they didn't know her. Of course they knew her, but they only knew the top, outermost layer of Jude Harrison. It wasn't hard to fool people. Put on a fake smile, give them a hollow laugh and they're content that you're ok. She lost count of how many times she had done that.

_24 hours. _In that amount of time Jude would be back in Vancouver, back in the studio, back home. She didn't want the tour to end. She couldn't believe it was over. So she decided that it's not.

By now SME had come forward and stood next to Jude, preparing to take their final bow. They joined hands and simultaneously leaned forward to the thunderous applause. After a few seconds they straightened up and released each other's hands. The band members backed away and let Jude take a solo bow. When she finished, the expected encore applause continued. Finally the band began to retreat and head offstage, but Jude remained where she was, in the middle of the stage with three very hot spotlights on her form.

Speed noticed that Jude wasn't moving and began hissing her name, trying to get her attention. Without turning around, she discreetly waved him away and stayed right where she was. By now the other band members were paying attention and sent questioning looks to Speed, but he just shrugged and continued walking off of the stage.

Jude shifted her guitar around so that she could speak into the microphone without banging her guitar against the stand. The crowd realized her intention and began to quiet down. Once it was quiet enough to hear a pen drop, Jude began to speak.

"Brooklyn! Wow, you guys are amazing! Thank you so much for buying my album, coming to my concert, supporting me, letting me come here, and, most importantly, for liking my music! I would be nothing without you guys and I owe you all so much!" Loud cheers erupted from the crowd and Jude just laughed and smiled. "As you all know, this is the last stop on my tour and _24 hours_ was supposed to be my last song, so technically my tour is over now." At this a strong chorus of boos poured forth and Jude was forced to laugh again. "Yeah, I know, that's exactly how I feel. Did I mention already how much I love Brooklyn? Anyway, I've decided to treat you guys to one more song before-" This time Jude was nearly blown off stage by her audience's enthusiastic response. "Ok, I'm guessing you're all anxious for me to shut up and sing, so I'll try to be brief. The song I'm going to be singing for you guys is completely raw and unrefined. I wrote it towards the beginning of my tour and not a single soul has ever heard it before. I guess it's the first rough draft, so bear with me because I don't know how it's going to turn out. Oh, I don't know the title yet, either."

With that Jude began playing her guitar. Even before the song began the only things Jude was aware of were the notes coming from her guitar and the words that would soon spill from her mouth. There was no audience, just her and her guitar.

_What's she got that I don't have  
Does she fill those spaces that I've left you  
When you wake up every night  
Does the scent of regret ever haunt you  
Put this under your skin  
I am me and I won't change for anyone  
Me and I won't change for anyone  
For anyone like you  
Does the weight of consequence  
Drag you down until it pulls you under  
Does she lend an eager hand to save you  
From the future of being with her  
Are you with her?  
Put this under her skin  
I am me and I won't change for anyone  
Me and I won't change for anyone  
For anyone like you  
Why would I change  
Put this under your skin_

The last note reverberated through the air, the only sound in the stadium. Jude let her hands fall to her sides and looked up. _I wonder what they all thought of it? Did they like it or think it totally sucked? You know what, though? I don't really care either way. Whether they do or don't doesn't matter all that much._

Before Jude could finish listening to the voice in her head the crowd suddenly came to life. They roared, screamed, clapped, jumped, and acted like seniors on their last day of high school. Jude let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She leaned forward once more, her mouth barely an inch from the microphone now.

"Thanks, Brooklyn."

Flushed, giddy, and surprisingly numb, Jude hurried backstage, wondering what people were going to make of her little addition to her final performance. She began searching for the band when a familiar flash of Barbie blonde hair caught her eye.

"Sadie!"

Jude sprinted across the floor, dodging wires, equipment, and people before flinging her arms around her older sister.

"Jude, I can't breathe-" Sadie joked as she squeezed her little sister back.

"Holy crap, Sades, what are you doing here? Aren't you still supposed to be in Italy? Ohmigod, how was it? What did you see? Where did you go? Did you get me anything? Come on, I'm dying to hear about it!" Jude raved in one breath.

"Breathe, little rock star. There will be plenty of time for that, trust me, because I want to hear all about your..." Sadie trailed off as she and Jude finally separated from their hug. Sadie took a step back and studied Jude.

"What? Do I have a Mount Everest zit on my face or something?" Jude slowly moved her hand in front of Sadie's riveted green eyes. "Sadie?"

After what seemed like an eternity, Sadie snapped back to reality. "You're...BLONDE!" she blurted.

Jude just laughed. "How nice of you to notice, sis. I have been for a while, actually. I still kind of miss my red hair, but I really like how it looks now."

Sadie continued to gape at the drastic change in Jude's appearance. "But, why? Why did you change your hair?" Sadie paused for a moment, then a playful smirk spread across her face. "Oh, I get it. You're tired of being chased by the fashion police and want to adopt my style and fashion sense. Very sneaky, Jude! But I'm flattered, really, that you want tolook like me."

"You wish! If you really want to know, I just felt like it was time for a change, and, well...this is what happened. So, do you like it?" Jude questionedtentatively.

Sadie continued to take in Jude's new image, purposely tormenting her sister by making her wait for her answer. "Well, it's different, there's no doubt about that, but, honestly..." Sadie paused for effect and received an exasperated glare from Jude. "Ok, ok, I love it! Happy now?"

"Actually, yes. Coming from you, Sadie, that means a lot. It's good to know I finally received your stamp of approval."

"Just don't let that compliment get to your head. My hair will always be better than yours no matter what color it is. Now that you know what I think, let's get the opinion of the weaker sex. " Sadie turned her head to someone standing next to her. "What do you think of Jude's new hair, Tommy?"

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I meant for this chapter to be longer than it is but I'll save the excuses and just say it ends where it ends. I want to know if people think the length is too short, too long, just right? Please R&R because I'm dying to know what people think of it! How often I update depends on the reactions and feedback I get as well as if I have time. But if you do like it, updates will probably be slow anyways because finals are next week and teachers are going crazy!

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	2. Don't Let Me Down

A/N: I'm glad so many people enjoyed the first chapter! I know the story seems kind of slow and it's not that exciting, but drama will be coming later on, I promise. Just keep up the reviews and I'll try and keep up the updates. They'll probably be around a week apart or maybe even sooner if I have extra time during the week. Here's the next part. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Instant Star...you know the rest.

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**Chapter 2: Don't Let Me Down**

Jude barely reacted to the casual question. She twisted her head a little bit until her gaze locked with a familiar pair of blue eyes and said simply, "Hey, Tommy."

"Heeey Jude."

This was followed by an eye roll from Jude and a playful smirk from Tommy. She took a step forward and gave Tommy a warm hug, the kind they used to share before her sixteenth birthday, before the kiss that never happened, and before all of the subsequential events. A little surprised, Tommy reciprocated the action and after a few seconds they pulled apart.

"How was Italy? And weren't you guys supposed to come back next week?"

"Italy was fantastic, I'm sure Sadie will help fill you in. And, yeah, we were supposed to get back next week."

"So why are you guys here now?"

Sadie decided that it had been too long since she had last spoken, so she piped in, "Well, Tommy felt bad about missing your first tour and we really wanted to come to one of your shows. So, we changed our tickets so we could be here in New York at the same time as you so we could catch your last show. Our flight to Vancouver leaves tomorrow afternoon. Fantastic job by the way, sis. I think I saw at least twenty guys in the front row drooling before you had even finished your first song of the night."

"I honestly don't think it was me they were drooling over. Actually, I'm pretty sure they were all staring at Speed," Jude joked.

"Who was staring at me, Jude?" Speed asked as he walked over to the group.

Jude exchanged a look with Sadie, then replied "No one" with a suppressed giggle.

Speed gave the two sisters a skeptical look. "Sure. Anyways, Jude you need to go to the equipment room so the sound crew can get the mic and stuff back from you."

"Ok, I'll be there in a second." Jude turned to Sadie and Tommy and said, "I need to get going, but I still want to talk some more and catch up with you guys. The band and I and some of other people are going to Club 91 to celebrate the end of the tour. You should come with us. I know it's kind of late so if you don't want to that's fine, too."

"Of course we'll be there, Jude. And you think 11 is late? I'm really going to have to take you out more when we get home," Sadie replied without even asking Tommy if he wanted to or not.

"Sounds good. We should be ready to leave in about half an hour. That okay?" Jude asked.

"Yeah, we'll just hang around here until you and the band get done doing whatever you need to. I'm sure we'll find something to entertain us, right Tommy?"

"Well, Sadie, I know you can find anything to keep you occupied. Remember when we took that rowboat out on the lake? You wanted to row so I gave you the oars and look what happened! I can't believe we were stuck out there for three hours!" Tommy teased.

"It's not my fault! They should attach the oars to the boat with rope or something in case someone drops them in the water. Or better yet, they should make them float instead of sinking to the bottom of the lake like anvils." (I know most oars actually float but work with me here.)

"I'm not making fun of you so much for dropping the oars but for what you did while we were stranded."

"Oh come on, Tommy, you know you had fun. When was the last time before that that you even heard all of your BoyzAttack songs, let along sang them?"

"Years ago, and I don't wish to ever do it again, thank you very much."

"But we have thirty minutes to kill right now, and we had so much fun before..."

Jude just laughed as she walked away towards the equipment room and away from the bickering couple. She would have killed to see Tommy's face while Sadie serenaded him with his old songs and then made him sing along. The look on his face would've been priceless.

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"We have your private room all ready, Miss Harrison. Please follow me," the owner of Club 91 directed as he led the group towards the VIP rooms in the back. 

Jude, Sadie, Tommy, Speed, and the rest of the band filed into the lavishly furnished room. A large table was set up in the middle with enough room for about fifteen people. Tommy and Speed helped seat Sadie and Jude before taking their own seats.

"So, you guys wanna order some drinks while we wait for everyone else to get here?" Speed questioned.

"Sure, but who are we waiting for?" Sadie asked, still delighted over the limo ride to the club. Having a rock-star for a sister definitely had its benefits.

"Umm, EJ, Georgia, Kwest...help me out here, Jude."

"Mom and Dad wanted to come but they couldn't get off work. Kat's internship is brutal and she's pissed because she can't make it, and I couldn't get a hold of Jamie, strangely enough. I wonder if something's wrong because I've called him at least ten times and left a bunch of messages, but he hasn't picked up or called me back," Jude finished worriedly.

Sadie tried to reassure her sister. "I'm sure he's fine, Jude. Don't worry about it. It's Jamie; he'd never let you down. Even if he was run over by an 18-wheeler he wouldn't stop until he reached you or whatever."

The conversation halted as Georgia, EJ, and Kwest walked into the room.

"Very nice," Kwest commented while looking around.

"Agreed," EJ stated as she inspected the various vintage records hanging on the walls.

Georgia didn't look at all fazed by the luxurious room and headed straight for the table. "Hey Jude, Speed-" She stopped greeting the band members as her eyes locked with Tommy, then Sadie. "What are you guys doing here? I thought you weren't supposed to be back until next week."

"Change of plans," Tommy clarified. "We decided to catch Jude's last show so we flew out early."

"Oh, ok then. Welcome back you two. So is everybody here that could make it? You want to get started, Jude?"

"Uh, yeah. Go ahead, Georgia."

"All right, everyone please have a seat," she looked pointedly at Kwest and EJ, who were still wandering around the room observing the furnishings. "Should we order drinks?"

As if on a cue, a waiter walked into the room and inquired, "What can I get for everyone this evening? Wine, soda, water?"

Each person from the group selected their choice and the waiter left to go get them their drinks. There was an awkward silence when no one could think of anything to say. It wasn't because Tommy and Sadie were present; merely that everyone was lost in his or her own thoughts.

Tommy couldn't stand the silence any longer and decided to fill the empty space with some meaningless words. At least it wouldn't be empty anymore. "So, Jude how was the rest of your tour?"

The question from Tommy forced Jude to snap back to the real world. "Wha? It was, um, good. I had a lot of fun and the audiences were amazing."

This received a nod from Tommy before a small, mischievous smile adorned his face. "What?" Jude asked, not really sure if she wanted to know.

"I was just wondering if there are any monumentally embarrassing moments that happened that I should know about." Jude turned beet red while Tommy looked expectantly at the members of the band. They in turn looked at each other and smirked. Speed was the first to speak.

"Well, I can think of one in particular involving the pool at that hotel in Toronto..."

If it was even possible by now Jude turned even more crimson, almost matching the color of her old hair. "You wouldn't dare, Speed..." threatened Jude.

"Jude, we just spent the last six weeks on a bus together. You should know by now that I most definitely would, and will."

That was it. Jude exploded from her chair like a cork from a wine bottle and went straight for Speed. Kwest was sitting between the two and managed to grab Jude by the waist before she could reach Speed and do some real damage, but that didn't stop him from popping out of his chair in record time anyway.

"Easy, Jude. You don't want the press to find out about this, do you? 'Psychotic Instant Star Slays Bandmate.' It actually has a pretty nice ring to it."

"Come on, Kwest, let me go!" Jude yelled as she fought to loosen his grip on her. "I swear there'll at least be a body left for the funeral!"

While this was going on, the other people at the table sat back and watched the show, amused by the livid Jude. It definitely lightened the atmosphere of the room and put everyone in a fairly good mood, except for Jude, of course.

"Ow!" screeched Kwest as Jude's foot connected hard against his shin. "Tommy, man, you better come help me before she gets loose and we have a homicide on our hands."

"That was your own fault, Kwest. I wouldn't have had to kick you if you had just stayed out of it in the first place," Jude retorted to Kwest's exclamation.

"Yeah, so we could all watch Speed get the crap beat out of him? I think not, red. Wait, it's not red anymore. Now what am I supposed to call you? Yellow? Or would you prefer Barbie?

This earned a "Hey!" from Sadie and a chuckle from everyone else. Jude was still too busy trying to inflict bodily harm on Speed and now Kwest to care.

Now Speed was a little incensed. "You guys think Jude could beat _me_ up? She's blonde, for crying out loud, and a girl!"

"Which is exactly why she _could _beat you up," EJ declared.

Tommy decided Kwest had suffered enough and started to get up to go help him. Right when he did, the door to the room opened and someone walked in. Jude glanced up and immediately stopped struggling against Kwest. She stared for a second and then finally spoke.

"Jamie?"


	3. Should I Stay or Should I Go

A/N: I love the reviews! Please keep them coming and I'll try and update more often. Sorry this one took so long but it's the holidays (obviously) and I had to go shopping and my family's here...I'm sure you all know the story well. Anyway, I'm not too happy with how I've written the last two chapters so the style of writing may change a little bit as the story goes on. Please tell me what you think. You know, I have all these great ideas floating around in my head but it's hard to put them in words exactly how I want. As for this chapter, it's a little bit shorter than the other two I think but the next one should be coming soon. And I just realized that I always end my chapters with someone showing up. Sorry about that; it won't be too long I hope before everyone is back in the story. All right, I'll shut up now and let you read. Happy Holidays! and I hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer:**I don't own Instant Star or it's characters, etc., but I REALLY want Tommy for Christmas, Santa!

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Chapter 3: Should I Stay or Should I Go 

"Jamie?"

The very flustered owner now rushed into the room. "I'm so sorry, Miss Harrison. We wouldn't allow him to come back here but he managed to get past us. We're so sorry; I'll get rid of him right away."

The shock had finally worn off on Jude. "Jamie!" she screeched as she sprinted across the room towards him. In an instant he was locked in a hug by Jude that was even tighter than the one she gave to Sadie a few hours ago.

"Uh, Miss Harrison?" the owner questioned, unsure what he should do.

Jude released Jamie and waved the owner off. "It's fine, thanks. I know him," she said with a sly smile towards Jamie. The owner looked relieved and quickly exited the room.

"Know me? Just know me? Harrison, I think-"

Jamie was quickly silenced by Jude's lips on his. Everyone else in the room was still in the same position they were in before Jamie walked in, except now they were all staring at Jude and Jamie in a serious lip lock. Tommy eventually gave a not-so-subtle cough and the pair broke apart.

"Miss me?" Jamie whispered to Jude.

"A little, I guess." She grabbed Jamie's hand and dragged him towards the table. They took a seat next to each other and Kwest returned to his but with a slight limp. Speed still stared warily at Jude while he sat down in his chair. There was another awkward silence until Georgia decided to speak.

"So, you guys want to order?"

"Sure."

"Uh, yeah."

"Sounds good."

People randomly spoke as they grabbed for the menus. Soon everyone had decided and the waiter returned to take their orders. Once he left, everyone began to chat with the people sitting near them.

Tommy turned towards Sadie, who was busy sipping her diet soda. "So, what's up with you and Jude? I mean, last time I checked, you were both pretty mad at each other. She seemed _really_ happy to see you after her concert."

Sadie set down her glass. "Well, one day when you were out buying some stuff at the store she called me from her tour bus. We talked for a while and, well, we finally acted like sisters for once. We're a lot closer now and we understand each other. She called me every few days after that and now she's like my best friend as well as my sister. I'm just so happy that we're getting along now and it's not a competition. It's just too bad we didn't realize all of this sooner."

"Oh, wow. That's really great for you two, really. But I thought she was pretty pissed at me when she left and when she greeted me it was just like old times? Know what was up with that?"

"I can't say I personally know what happened but I'm guessing she grew up and let whatever it was go. Jamie might've had something to do with it, too," Sadie said as she shot a glance at the two teenagers who were totally engrossed in their conversation with each other.

"Jude, have I mentioned how much I missed you already?" Jamie asked, staring at Jude, still not quite believing that she was actually his.

"Only like a million times in the last five minutes. I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick, ok? I'll be right back," stated Jude as she began to stand up.

Jamie quickly grabbed Jude's hand and pulled her back down into her chair. "No way, Harrison. I haven't seen you for six weeks and now you want to leave so you can go to the bathroom? I'm sorry, but you're just gonna have to wait a while because I'm not done with you yet."

"I said I'd be right back, Jamie. Now come on, let me go or there's going to be an accident and it will be all your fault," she teased as she stood up and pulled her hand away. Jude took a couple steps away from her chair before she turned around and planted a light, sweet kiss on Jamie's lips. He just sighed and watched her walk out of the door, but was contented with the knowledge that she'd be back.

Jude was humming to herself as she made her way back towards the room from the bathroom, lost in her own thoughts and now paying attention. Everything seemed perfect. Her tour was a huge success, she and Sadie were close now, and Jamie...was the perfect boyfriend. But then the rest of reality found it's way into her brain. Her mom and dad, the divorce, Tommy not producing her next album, the contract with Darius that she made to get Frozen back for Tommy, Kat's probable reaction to her and Jamie together...

As if on cue with where Jude's thoughts were heading, she crashed into something and landed flat on her ass on the floor. She blinked several times and breathed rapidly, trying to get her breath back. When she sat up, she saw an all too familiar face opposite of her on the floor in the exact same predicament she was. He sat up, too, and two pairs of surprised eyes locked.

"Hey, Shorty."

"Shay? Wh-what are you doing here?" stuttered Jude, not believing her luck.

"I was actually on my way to the restroom when _somebody_ ran into me, and now here I am."

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that. I wasn't paying attention."

"Obviously," Shay said as he stood up and offered a hand to Jude, who was still sitting dazedly on the floor. She contemplated for a moment before reaching out her own hand and seizing the much larger one. Once they were both balanced firmly on their feet, the eyes locked again.

"So, you didn't really answer my question. What are you doing here, Shay?"

"We arrived from Miami a few hours ago. I'm doing a show tomorrow night and we just came here for dinner."

Jude simply said, "Oh."

"What about you?"

"Oh, well, um, this was the last stop on my tour and we're celebrating the end of it. It's nothing big; there's just a group of us in one of the rooms and stuff."

"I see." There was a pause before Shay continued. "You know, you could've come with me, should've. It woulda been a helluva lotta fun. We still have a few shows left to do in the States. From here we're going to Chicago and then to L.A. You can still come if you want to, I'm sure D wouldn't mind..."

"I'm sorry, Shay, I really want to go home. Six weeks was long enough and I'll be glad if I never have to stare out of a tour bus window for eight hours a day again. Thanks, though."

"Hey, it was worth a try."

Jude laughed, a real, honest laugh that felt good. "Same old Shay." He simply smiled back at her, knowing her well enough not to take offense. Suddenly she stopped and coughed a little bit. "So, um, I guess I better be getting back. You should probably go take care of your business, too."

With that Jude began walking past Shay, still musing over the ironic coincidences in her life.

"Jude, wait." Shay grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him. "Can we, um, talk for a little bit? Please?"

"I don't know, Shay, I should probably be getting back. People might start to worry that I've fallen in the toilet or something."

"I know, it won't take long, though. Please, Jude? I'm still probably the last person you even want to see but, I really don't like things the way they are right now between us. And I know that's all my fault...but could you just please?"

Jude sighed, thinking over what Shay wanted. He was right, she really didn't want to talk to him or even see him ever again, but that would never happen. Did Shay actually use the word _please_, more than once? Wow, _he must really want to talk to me, then, if he's actually asking instead of demanding. _"Fine, Shay, you got your wish. Let's talk."

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PLEASE R&R! I'm dying for feedback, whether it's positive or negative!

L


	4. Mmmm cheesecake

A/N: So I just wrote this great author's note explaining a bunch of stuff and what happens? I hit a button or something and all the changes I've made have disappeared. Ugh, I hate computers sometimes and there were plenty of expletives in my head.

To summarize, I haven't update lately because (surprise surprise) my computer and the site were being weird and wouldn't let me upload the next chapter. But finally, here it is. Also, I used to use song titles as the chapter titles but it was way easier to make up my own for this chapter and it makes more sense, though not much. The previous chapter titles are probably random and don't make sense but the did at the time I was picking them out. Oh well.

This chapter is longer than the others, so you'll either have to forgive me because you want them shorter or you'll be happy because it's longer. Some true feelings will come out in the next chapter and I plan to include more insight into the characters' heads in the future. I know a lot of FF's tell you at the beginning if it's a Jude/Tommy or Jude/Quest or Jude/Shay, but I think that spoils the fun. Oh yeah, I'm going to change how I spell Kwest's/Quest's name. In the previous chapters I used "Kw" but now I'm going to use "Qu." Hope you don't mind. Does anyone actually know which one is right?

I spent a lot of time yesterday planning my direction with this story and it's going to get better, I promise, or at least I hope. I'm feeling very inspired right now because I got done watching the Instant Star marathon not too long ago. It's amazing how much I love that show and how the episodes never seem to get boring.

BTW, on All Apologies (I think) Jude is supposed to sing a song with Eden on Music Hopes called "Shatter Me." Anyone got the lyrics? I tried to Google it but no luck. I really think I'd like the song if Eden hadn't sung it. She butchered it.

And if anyone wonders towards the end of the story, the dessert actually does exist and is available at a Cheesecake Factory near you. Of course, there's not many of themto begin with, so if you're a small town gal (or guy even) like me, you'll have to go to a bigger city to get it. They're horrendously overpriced but soooo good and so worth it.

Whatever, on with the story. Oh, almost forgot.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Instant Star, the characters, etc. And if you want sue me, go ahead, because you won't get much. : )

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Chapter 4: Mmmm...cheesecake 

Before Shay could say anything, Jude plopped down in the exact spot that she had gotten up from only minutes earlier, right in the middle of the hallway. Shay just raised one familiar eyebrow and lowered himself until he was seated across from her.

"I'll give you three minutes. Go."

"Look, Jude, I'm really sorry about what I did to you on your birthday. I-"

She cut him off. "If that's all you want to say, then you can just save it because I've heard it already."

She started to get up but Shay grabbed her wrist to stop her and pulled her back down onto the floor. "Just hear me out, okay? I promise you'll want tolisten tothis."

"And since when do your promises actually mean anything, Shay?"

A hurt look flashed across Shay's face. She couldn't decide whether it was from her hurting his feelings (if they even existed) or if she just hit his ego a little bit.

"Ouch. Okay, I deserved that, but let me finish. Like I was saying, I was a complete ass and every other term you can think of to describe me. I truly am sorry, and if it makes you feel any better Eden only pretended to be into me to get back at you. She dumped me a few weeks after your birthday after the press had finally gotten tired of the story."

Jude didn't say anything, just continued looking at him. Her face was unreadable; Shay had no idea as to what she was thinking or feeling about what he had said. Still, he was determined and plowed right ahead.

"I still like you, Jude, but I know I completely screwed up whatever we had and I'll never get another chance."

"Figured that one out all by yourself, did you?"

He sighed, beginning to get frustrated. "Yeah, as a matter of fact I did." There was a pause. "I was wrong when I said that Eden made me feel fine just the way I was and you didn't. You were right, I didn't even know who I was and I let Darius control me. He still controls me, as a matter of fact, but I'm working on it. Jude, I am the biggest idiot of the millennium. I totally don't deserve it, but I really want you to forgive me and for us to be friends. What do you think? Is there even the remotest chance of that ever happening in this lifetime?"

Finally a different voice filled the air. "At this point, Shay, even after all of that, I still doubt it." Shay's head fell down to his chest. "But I'm willing to try."

The head popped back up. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. But it's going to take time. A lot of time. And a lot of sucking up. Some flowers wouldn't hurt, either."

They both let out small, hollow chuckle at this. Their eyes met, and a very odd sort of understanding passed between them. It was weird and so unlikely, but a weight seemed to be lifted from both of their shoulders.

A door opened somewhere and footsteps could be heard growing closer to Shay and Jude. A pretty woman, probably around thirty or so, turned the corner and walked towards them. She paused for a second before continuing her pace. As she walked past she stared at them with a very confused look on her face. Finally she disappeared into the ladies room.

Jude and Shay looked at each other for a moment before simultaneously bursting out in laughter at the absurdity of it all. But it felt good to laugh, to really laugh, and for a little while they both forgot who they were, who they were with, and thepast they shared.

It wasn't long, though. Jude eventually collected herself from her fit and stood up. Shay noticed and his laughter gradually died away, too, before he stood up. They stood there, eyeing each other, until Jude broke the silence.

"Look, Shay, this doesn't mean we're best friends or anything. I'm not even sure I can call you a friend yet."

"That's fair enough."

"I'd better be getting back. They're probably wondering where I am and I don't want any of them to catch us out here. I can't even imagine what they'd say."

"Hey, Shorty, thanks. I know it's probably tough for you but-"

"It's a step. A small one, but it's a step. Let's just leave it at that, Shay."

Jude walked around Shay and headed back to the room where everyone was waiting. _Gotta think of an excuse, Harrison, and quick. Just imagine what they'd say if you told them you were with Shay. They'd wonder if an alien had abducted you and stolen your body._

Just as Jude was about to open the door, someone got to it before her. She jumped back about a foot and looked up at the person who had scared her.

"Geez, Jamie, you scared the crap out of me! Don't do that again!" she laughed while she tried to regain her breath.

"Sorry." He tried to hold it in but couldn't; Jamie burst out laughing.

"Hey! That wasn't very funny at all," Jude snapped as she walked up to Jamie and gave him a playful but still hard punch on the shoulder.

"Ow! What was that? Don't be mad at me 'cause if you had seen your face you'd be laughing too!" Jamie mocked fake anger as he exaggeratedly rubbed his shoulder, which actually kind of hurt. Not that he'd ever admit that, of course. "Where were you, anyway? I was beginning to get worried and was on my way to go look for you."

"Oh, um, I just ran into someone I met on tour and we talked for a few minutes. Sorry, I didn't mean to worry anyone."

Jamie stared intently at Jude's face, trying to read whether or not she was lying. He gave up and bent forward to give her a soft kiss on the lips. "Let's go eat, Harrison. The food got here while you were gone. I'm starving!" Jude was dragged back to the table by Jamie and they took their seats next to each other.

Tommy knew when Jude came back to the room. He knew Jamie probably scared one year off of her life because he'd done the same thing to her himself in the studio before. And he knew when Jamie kissed her and she kissed back. He knew when she took her seat, when she picked up her fork, when she took the first bite of her fettuccini alfredo, when she took a sip of her water with lemon, when she daintily wiped her mouth with her napkin. He knew all of this without even looking at her because his senses were so finely tuned to her every movement. He knew about the air Jude breathed, he knew everything, and Sadie didn't have a clue that he knew this because it appeared that all of his attention was focused on her and what she was saying. It was true, he _was_ listening to her, but after spending the last several weeks with her in Italy and listening to her incessant chatter, he didn't really care what she was talking about right now. Because he hadn't been able to hear Jude talk, laugh, orinhale andexhale for those weeks. Now that he had the opportunity he wasn't going to waste it listening to Sadie talk about a skirt she bought at this absolutely _adorable_ boutique in Milan.

Tommy knew something else about Jude, too. He could tell that something was different about her; she was more..._free_. Not by a whole lot, but something had changed in those ten minutes she was gone. And, typical Tommy, he wanted to know what it was. He'd have to figure something out because he knewJude wasn't going to open up to him like sheused to. He probably killed their close relationship with how he acted before she left on tour and before he went toItaly with _her sister._Working onJude's second album was going to be tough, but it was what Tommy had been looking forward to all summer._You are such an idiot, Tommy! I can't believe you treated Jude like crap and then treated Sadie like that, too.Always thinking of Jude's sixteenth birthday while kissing Sadie. _Mentally Tommy slammed his head into a hard, brick wall several times. _She asked, and I made a decision. I have to stick with it, no matter what._

Sadie was finishing up the one-sided conversation so Tommy turned his full attention back to her. All too soon everyone was done eating their dinner.

"Dessert, anyone?" inquired Quest as he grabbed for the dessert menu sitting nearby him.

"No way, I'm stuffed," Speed shared while rubbing his stomach.

"Same here," EJ agreed.

"No thanks," replied Georgia.

"Aw, you guys are no fun," Quest teased. "Come on, anyone? Tommy, Sadie?" They both shook their heads as did almost everyone else at the table. One person took pity on Quest and spoke up.

"Aw, hell. Give me a menu, Quest," Jude demanded as she shook her head at herself. Quest chucked one down across the table and, surprisingly to Jude, she caught it. With a sigh she opened it and began skimming the contents. _I actually think Quest had the right idea. All of this looks delicious! Oh, shit, I'm never gonna be able to fit into my new jeans if I order any of this. Hell, you're only sixteen and on your first tour once, right? Wait, did I just worry that I won't be able to fit into my jeans, that I'll get fat? Oh my God _(sorry ifthat offends anyone)_, what's wrong with me? I'm turning into an actual sixteen-year-old girl. Either something happened to me on tour or there was something in that fettuccini alfredo...which was really good._

The waiter walked back into the room. "Would any care for dessert or would you just like the bill?"

Quest started to speak but Jude beat him to it. "I'll have a slice of the White Chocolate Caramel Latte cheesecake, please."

"All right, anybody else?" asked the waiter while he scribbled on his notepad.

"I was gonna have something else but that sounds REALLY good. And there's no way I'm going to be able to say all of that so I'll just have the same as her," Quest answered the waiter.

He left and everyone at the table stared at Jude and just burst out laughing.

"What?" she demanded, exasperated and completely lost. "What in the world is so funny?"

The laughter continued until Sadie finally spoke. "Honestly, I have absolute no idea. Just something about that made me want to laugh so hard and you know trying not to laugh is like me going to the mall and not buying anything: impossible."

"Whatever, then."

The waiter returned carrying two plates adorned with two delectable slices of cheesecake that Jude and Quest were just waiting to devour. He placed them in front of Jude and Quest and left.

Quest was trying to swipe a bite of his before the waiter had even set the plate down. Jude dug into hers and didn't look up again until she was finished. Actually, she did, once, when Jamie took his fork and tried to steal a bite.

Jude smacked his hand away. "Mine. You had your chance."

This brought a mock offended and hurt face from Jamie and a laugh from everyone else. Two forks clattered onto plates at the same time as Jude and Quest finished their desserts.

"Nice choice, Jude. You've restored my faith in the opposite sex when it comes to picking out fattening and unhealthy but completely delicious desserts."

"Um, that's nice, Quest. Glad I could be of service." Jude picked up her glass. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm beat and ready to go home. To the best first tour I'll ever have."

Everyone else followed Jude and raised their glasses.

"To Instant Star."

"To G Major."

"To engineers."

"To producers."

"To family."

"To friends."

"To Spiederman Mind Explosion."

"To Jude."

"Amen!"

They tapped glasses and drank. Soon the waiter returned with the bill and the arguing began over who got to pay.

"I'll take it," Georgia stated.

"No, G, let me. We came unplanned so it's only fair to let us. I want to treat," argued Tommy.

As soon as this started Jude rolled her eyes and walked over to the waiter, who was still holding the check, undecided as to who he should give it to. She took it from his hand and walked over to the table where she flipped it open, scanned it, then paid. (A/N: I'm not really sure how she did but let's just say shehas a credit card or something.) Jude also included a nice tip for the patient waiter and handed the little black book back to him. He thanked her and left the room.

Quest had bee standing off to the side watching the entire exchange. Once the waiter was gone he exploded with laughter. Georgia and Tommy stopped arguing long enough to ask Quest what was so funny. He merely continued laughing and shook his head. Tommy and Georgia looked at each other then did a sweep around the room. Both noticed that someone was missing.

"Hey, where'd the waiter go?" Tommy inquired of the roomful of people.

"Oh, Jude paid the bill and he left. I guess you two were too busy to notice. Imagine that," answered EJ with a smirk.

Georgia and Tommy both turned to Jude and started to speak. She held up her hand, stopping them.

"Don't. It's done and over. Who really cares, anyway? It was just one dinner and one bill. There will be more, and I promise one of you two can pay next time. I'll be sure to order something really expensive, too, if it'll make you feel better."

With that she grabbed her jacket and said her good-byes to everyone in the room. She treated Tommy as a friend, but not a very close one. Jude squeezed the crap out of Sadie and asked how they were getting home.

"We're flying out tomorrow morning. We should be home around three or four after we get our luggage from the airport. What about you?"

"I started on the bus and that's where I'm ending. I don't think we're leaving until tomorrow morning so I should be home really late tomorrow night or sometime the day after that."

"Oh, ok. I guess I'll see you at home then, sis. I really missed you."

"Me too, Sades. I love you."

"I love you, too. Now you better get over to Jamie. I think you being more than five feet away upsets him."

"Ok." Jude gave Sadie one last hug. "I'll see you in a day or two."

They parted and Jude walked over to Jamie. After Sadie left no one else remained in the room except fot them.

"Well look at this, just the two of us alone together in this room. Think this was planned?" joked Jamie while he grabbed Jude's hand.

"Doubt it. I think they all left because they realized that Speed was having some problems with some of his bodily functions and they began to smell it."

"I wondered what that was."

Jude couldn't answer because Jamie had already bent down and started kissing her. He still couldn't get over that he could do that almost whenever he wanted. Jude was finally his and there was no way he was ever going to give her up. _She's gonna break your heart..._ For some reason Kat's warning played over in his head. He shook it off and turned all of his focus to the task at hand.

Finally Jude broke away. "I need to go. If I don't the bus might leave without me. I'll see you when I get home, okay?"

"No, it's not okay, but I guess there's not much I can do about it, huh?"

"You always were smart. "

Jamie grabbed his girlfriend's arm and pulled her back for one last kiss. Right when it was getting juicy, the door opened, surprising Jude and Jamie, and they jumped apart.

"Whoa, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt," Tommy said as he walked over to where he was sitting earlier. He grabbed something that was hanging on the back of one of the chairs. "Sadie forgot her purse and made me come back to get it. Don't stop on my account; please, continue."

And just as quickly as he had entered Tommy left. Jude and Jamie were still getting over the surprise and hadn't moved.

"Um, wow. Ok, I really need to get going. Bye Jamie, I'll see you soon." Jude gave him a quick kiss and left.

After a few seconds Jamie came back to life and grabbed his stuff to leave. With one last look around the room he departed and headed for his hotel. As he walked out of the door he saw the tour bus drive away, withthe girl of his dreamson it.

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Hope you enjoyed it! Please review! And be honest, too. Are people reading this and enjoying it?It would be greatly appreciated; a self-esteem boost is going to be needed soon.Anyone see the Sneak Peaks for the second season of IS? There's NO WAY I'm going to be able to make it to February 10th. Don't you wish there was a remote for life and a fast forward button? A pause, rewind, and mute button would also be good... 


	5. Girl in the Mirror

A/N: Honestly, I didn't plan for anything in this chapter to really happen, it just kind of did. It kind of messed up how I wanted to do the next chapter, so the next update might be a while.

I had a completely different idea for this story when I started it, so now the title doesn't make sense.I'm thinking about changing it, but I have no clue what I'd change it to. I know I'm the only one who knows where this is going, but does anybody have any suggestions for a title so far? I'm completely open to new ideas and would love some feedback.

Now I have to say a few things in response to some of the reviews:

NotAContrivance: Thank you so much for the wonderful review, I really appreciate everything you said! It really does help. Thanks for the lyrics, too, and I really wish they would've put that song on the soundtrack. Maybe the next one? We can always hope!

Destany Mitchell: Thank you so much for pointing that out to me! I honestly had no clue which spelling was right, so thanks for telling me. And if it doesn't annoy the crap out of you guys, I'm going to go back to the original and correct spelling of Kwest's name. Please don't hate me! Buthe's not in thischapteranyway so it'll be differentin the next chapters.Thanks again for letting me know!

To everyone else who reviewed, I REALLY appreciate it and I hope you continue to review for me. Here's the next part. Enjoy!

Oh, stuff written in italics and bold is still Jude's thoughts, but it's like that annoying little voice in your head, kinda like your conscience. Just don't think she's crazy or anything because I don't want her to be. Maybe later. (hehe)

**Disclaimer: **I'm sick of writing these so let's just say this one goes for the entire story. I do not own Instant Star, any of the characters, any songs used, or any references from media of any form, like a TV show (you'll see what I mean much later).

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Chapter 5: Girl in the Mirror 

Jude pounded on the door. "Come on, guys, let me in!" She continued her pounding and tried again. "This isn't funny! Open the door!" Nothing. _Ugh! Speed can be such a pain in the ass sometimes! I wish he would open the flippin' door already. It's my tour bus, anyway. Well, technically it's G Major's but since it's being used for my tour I think I have a right to call it mine for right now at least._

She took a few steps back and tried to look in through the windows. Once again, nothing. "Stupid tinted windows..." Jude muttered as she glared at the window, hoping one of the guys would get her message and unlock the door for her.

Just as Jude was getting ready to knock the door down herself, she heard a faint click. _About time_. She shot towards the door and yanked it open. After hopping up the couple of steps, she turned around to close the door. As soon as it was secure, she flipped around again, ready to make mince meat out of her band mates.

"NOW!"

Before Jude could even pick out a familiar face she was bombarded by the three guys. Soon she was completely covered in neon silly string. Apparently their cans finally ran out andJudepicked some green, orange, and blue string off of her shirt before she noticed the box sitting on the couch. She flew over to it and whipped around, armed with her own two cans of silly string.

"Uh oh," Speed realized as he shook his can, trying to see if there was any left. He and the other two guys started scrambling around for anything they could use as a shield. Eventually they ended up with a CD case, a pillow, and two hands, but not before Jude had her revenge.

Once they were all sure that there were no more cans of silly string left, they collapsed on the couch, laughing. Speed was the first to speak.

"Sorry, Jude, but we didn't think the driver or Georgia would appreciate it if we dumped a cooler of water over your head, so we had to improvise."

"It's fine, unless I can't get this stuff out of my hair. THEN you're going to need to hide," Jude teased as she picked at the stuff in her hair, which was already starting to get hard. "Whatever, I'm beat. I'm gonna go crash in my room." She started for her private room, since she wasn't going to share one with any of the guys, but paused at the doorway. "Thanks, guys, really. This tour was awesome thanks mostly to you. Night."

With that she went into her room and locked the door. Jude released a sigh and threw herself down on her bed, contemplating what she was going to do about the crap in her hair. She considered brushing it right now, but that might make it worse. She was too tired to take a shower, so she decided to leave it. _Guess I'll see in the morning. I'll just take a shower or something when I get up._

Jude hopped up off of her bed, closed the blinds, and quickly changed into her PJ's. Then she laid back down but moved over to open the blinds again. She stared out of the window at the passing traffic, thinking about all of the things that had happened to her recently and, more specifically, tonight.

_Jamie, Tommy, Jamie, Tommy. _Who was she more excited to see? Tommy, who ditched her for her sister and almost quit as her producer or Jamie, her boyfriend, the guy who said the sweetest things to her at the airport, who'd never let her down, ever._ Jamie, definitely. Anyone could've told me that. Just look at how I greeted and treated them. I obviously didn't care much that Tommy was back. It's not like I ran up and gave him a gigantic hug and kiss like I did to Jamie. **But you wanted to**. No I didn't. **Yes you did**. No, I didn't! Oh, forget this! I'm arguing with myself and I'm never going to win. **Who do you want to win?** Just shut up already!_

Jude groaned as she rolled over and grabbed a pillow off of the floor. She sat up and threw it down on her bed and began punching it into shape. Once she was satisfied, she laid back down to face her thoughts.

_**It killed you to see him with Sadie, admit it**. _Jude closed her eyes. _Fine. It did. But I'm over it--I've got Jamie. _A single tear slid down Jude's cheek. _**Then why did you have to act when you were around Tommy?** _She brought her hand up and flicked it away. _Because it'd be easier that way. Nothing's ever going to happen with him. He's with Sadie now and he's happy. So is Sadie. My sister, my best friend, I'm happy for her. **No you're not**. Yes, I am. **Liar**. Damnit, yes I am! I am so fucking happy for my sister that it's killing me! _The dam broke. This time the tears flooded down her face and soaked the pillow as they rolled off her cheeks. But she kept her eyes closed. _**That's not what's killing you and you know it**. _It took all of the will power Jude had to not scream her head off right then and there. _You're right, okay? You're right. It was so hard for me to treat Tommy like that, like he was just some friend that didn't really matter. Because he's anything but. I had to, though, don't you understand? I still have feelings for him even though I'm with Jamie. I can't let Tommy or anyone else know because that would just screw things up so bad between us and I know I'm going to need him now that Darius is my manager. Why can't he just get out my head? WHY? I need him to just leave my thoughts and my mind. I can't have him, he doesn't want me, that should be the end. But why won't it just die? Why can't I let it go? Shay broke my heart and then Tommy stole the broom from me as I was trying to sweep up the pieces. Why, fucking, WHY? I hate this. And I'm going to end it right now no matter what. It's over. It's OVER. It never even began. Goodbye, Tommy. You're nothing to me except my producer and my sister's boyfriend._

Jude wiped her hand across her face and opened her eyes. She reached over and flung the blinds shut. She closed her eyes again.

_Who am I kidding?_

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_  
Knock, knock, knock._

Jude was silent.

_Pound, pound, pound!_

She still didn't move.

_BANG!...BANG!...BANG!_

"WHAT!" Jude finally yelled as she covered her head with her pillow.

"We're going to reach Toronto in about twenty or thirty minutes so you might want to get up!" Speed shouted through the door.

"Thanks, Speed. Now leave me alone so I can go back to sleep."

"No problem, Jude, but when we get there and you're still out you can't blame me for the tactics the other guys are going to use to wake you up."

"Thanks for the warning."

"Anytime."

Jude heard his footsteps head towards the front of the bus. She groaned and sat up, trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes. _There's no way I slept the entire way from New York to Toronto. _She glanced around and realized there wasn't a clock in the room. She made a mental note to put one in her room on her next tour. Jude threw the covers off and grabbed her bag, which was lying in a corner. After fumbling around for what felt like forever, she found her phone and flipped it open to check the time. _How can it be ten in the morning already? It felt like I had barely fallen asleep before Speed was hammering on my door. _Jude unconsciously ran her hand through her hair but stopped when it practically got stuck. _Oh, God, the stupid silly string. It's going to take me forever to get it out of my hair. _Clearly frustrated, Jude searched the room for a fairly clean pair of pants and a shirt. She grabbed a couple more things that she'd need from her bag and unlocked the door. Cautiously, Jude poked her head out and seeing that the guys were busy munching on Froot Loops she made a dash for the bathroom in case they had some more silly string that they'd been hiding.

Making sure the door was securely locked, Jude turned the knob for the shower on. Nothing happened. She tried again and began twisting it in a big circle, trying to figure out what was wrong. A tiny trickly made its way out of the shower nozzle. Letting out a frustrated groan, Jude barely stopped herself from kicking the shower door.

Speed must've heard and knocked on the door. "Everything all right in there, Jude?"

"No, everything's not all right. I've got all this silly string gunk stuck in my hair and the shower's not working!"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. Kyle used up the last of the water this morning for his shower. Sorry."

"Are you kidding me!" By now Jude was practically hysterical, partly because she was sleep deprived but mostly because she was a girl with a bunch of gunk stuck in her hair and no way to get it out until she got home.

With a sigh Jude stripped out of her pajamas and pulled on the clothes she brought with her from her room. Too tired and hungry to care much about her hair now, Jude went to search the cabinets for some scrap of food that might be left, even though she knew it was highly unlikely. Sharing a tour bus with three teenage guys was a lot of fun but the cabinets were always empty and the bus was always totally trashed.

By pure luck Jude managed to find a clean bowl and spoon. She headed for the table where the guys were sitting with the box of Froot Loops in the middle. They all looked up at her as she drew closer to them.

"Don't any of you dare say a word. It's all your fault, anyway," Jude threatened as she grabbed the cereal box. They all clearly realized that she was a girl that did not want to be messed with.

"Must be PMS," Kyle whispered to Speed before Jude sat down.

Shoving Speed over in the little booth, she took a seat and placed her bowl down. "I heard that, Kyle." Jude turned the box over and began shaking it. Empty. "I swear there is going to be some serious bloodshed on this bus when I find out who finished off the Froot Loops."

Speed and Wally, the other band member, shot a look at Kyle, who was busy munching. Feeling their stares, he glanced up and tried to replay what had just been said. Finally remembering and seeing Jude's face, Kyle slid his bowl across the table towards Jude. She stopped it with her hand and smiled at Kyle, who still had his spoon in his mouth, and dug in. There wasn't that much left, but Jude was starving and didn't really care. Most girls wouldn't have eaten it, but after spending the last six weeks with Speed, Wally, and Kyle, Jude didn't really care anymore.

Finishing her meager breakfast, Jude dumped the bowl and spoon in the already overloaded sink. Frank, their driver, called out that they would be reaching G Major in less than five minutes. _Great, just great. Why couldn't he just drop me off at home? There's no way in hell I want to be seen like this, in public, no less. What if Tommy's there? _Realizing what she just thought, Jude clenched her teeth togther. _So what if he is? You don't care, remember?_

Figuring she might as well make an effort to look normal, Jude headed for her room on search of a hairbrush. Finding one, she went to the tiny bathroom, the only place on the bus containing a mirror. Starting at the ends, Jude began working out the knots in her hair and the dried silly string. Surprisingly, the silly string came out pretty easily. It was the knots that were killing her.

"We're here!" Frank shouted from the driver's seat. Jude felt the engine die as Frank removed the keys. The guys could be heard scrambling for the door, wanting to be the first one off. After being on it for the past six weeks, Jude couldn't blame them.

She stopped for a moment, put the brush down, and looked at herself in the mirror. _Who am I? Who is that person staring back at me?_ Jude realized that even if she didn't have bags under her eyes and wild hair, she still wouldn't recognize herself. _I've changed. _She grabbed the brush. _So who am I now?_

_Almost done._ Jude worked frantically to get the last bit of gunk out of her hair. _Figures, _she thought as she encountered an incredibly nasty knot. Giving one huge tug, Jude finally felt the knot give. But it was soon apparent that there was a little too much force behind it because her hand crashed into the mirror.

Jude watched as the shards rained onto the floor, then as red drops followed them. She looked at her hand and realized that the red drops were blood from her hand. As this realization occurred, so did the pain. Jude screamed.

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Sorry if it said there was an update for this earlier. I accidentally uploadedit when it wasn't ready so i deleted it and that led to a big drama where I couldn't upload any documents at all. Drove me nuts, but it's finally working now.The end of this chapter'snot really a cliffhanger, but I hope you liked it anyways. 


	6. Just Another Day

A/N: I hated writing this chapter. It didn't turn outeven closelike I wanted it to, but it'll have to do because I just want to move on. I really want to write the part in the story that's not due for several more chapters, so I'm becoming cranky because I can't yet. The next update may be much slower in coming because a) school is starting again b) I haven't done my homework for break yet and I have one day left c) serious writer's block on how I want to say stuff in the next chapter d) I'm one of the laziest people to ever live.

Happy New Year everyone!Thanks for the great feedback; please keep it coming!

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**Chapter 6**

Speed, Kyle, and Wally tumbled off of the tour bus, glad to finally be home. The doors of G Major opened and out walked Georgia, Kwest, Jamie, Tommy, Darius, and various members of G Major's staff. The doors had just closed when they flew open again, revealing EJ, who opted to fly back instead of go on the bus. The group made it's way over to the bus and began to congratulate the guys.

Hands were clasped, bodies embraced, and backs slapped. Finally Kwest noticed someone obvious was missing from the group of returnees. Actually, Tommy noticed as soon as they reached the bus but didn't say anything in case someone grew suspicious of his eagerness to see Jude.

Kwest began looking around and peering over people's heads. Not seeing the familiar redhead, he brought her absence to the group's attention.

"Where's Jude?"

Before anyone had a chance to answer, an earsplitting (kind of an odd cliché, now that I'm thinking about it) scream pierced the air. Everyone recognized the beautiful voice, even though it was obviously in pain.

Jamie was the first to react. "Jude!" he yelled as he sprinted towards the door of the bus, Tommy right behind him. Grabbing the handle, Jamie began yanking on it, willing it to open. "It's stuck!"

Getting worried that Jude hadn't made any other sounds, Jamie pounded the door a couple of times before giving it one mighty tug and wrenching it open. Jamie sprinted up the steps and turned to the back of the bus. He stopped dead in his tracks.

Jude was standing in front of the bathroom door, surround by tiny pieces of a broken mirror. She was holding her right hand out in front of her and a dark red stain was beginning to form on the floor as the blood cascaded down her hand. Her eyes appeared blank, like she hadn't really registered what had happened.

"Oh my-" Jamie managed to say before he fainted, thankfully landing on the couch.

Tommy bounded up the steps as he saw Jamie collapse on the couch. He, too, turned and saw Jude standing there, a vision of beauty and horror. The blood continued to drip onto the floor and Tommy quickly assessed the situation.

Deciding that there wasn't enough room for him to be able to carry her, Tommy grabbed Jude's unharmed left hand and pulled her to the door. On the way, he snatched a towel that was hanging over the sink.

Jude seemed to snap back to life and winced as her right hand accidentally hit the counter. By now she was standing at the steps with Tommy behind her, holding her waist securely to keep her from falling down.

"Kwest!" Tommy shouted. Kwest almost instantly appeared at the bottom of the stairs, ready to do whatever Tommy asked.

Tommy turned his attention back to Jude. "Jude, do you think you can make it down the steps okay?"

She nodded numbly and began her descent. It was fine until she reached the last step, where she tripped and fell right into Kwest's arms.

Tommy breathed out a sigh of relief as he saw Kwest catch Jude, glad of his foresight. He jumped down the steps and went to help Kwest with Jude.

Georgia, EJ, Darius, and everyone else was still completely clueless as to what had happened. EJ let out asmall scream when she caught sight of Jude's gory hand as she fell from the bus. No one said anything; they were too shocked to do anything besides stare at the even unfolding in front of them.

By the time Tommy got back on solid ground, Kwest had set Jude upright but still held onto her shoulders until he was sure she regained her balance. Tommy rushed up and wrapped the towel he had grabbed earlier around Jude's bleeding hand.

Jude squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip as the pain became overwhelming. She knew Tommy was just trying to help by wrapping her hand in the towel, and it was the sensible thing to do, but it simply pushed the shards that were still in her hand in further. Then he continued holding her hand and applying pressure to stop the bleeding. She couldn't take any more pain.

"TOMMY STOP!" Jude shrieked as she ripped her hand away. _Oh, God, it hurts! Why is Tommy always hurting me?_

Whether from the pain, blood loss, or a combination of both, Jude began to feel dizzy. _Please don't let me faint...please..._

Her wishes were to no avail as her legs gave way and her vision went black. Luckily for Jude, Kwest noticed when she started to sway and caught her before she hit the ground. Tommy was still too shocked at Jude's sudden outburst against him to do anything just yet. He was just trying to help. _Why didJude scream at me like that?_ _She's neverspoken to me like that before, never sounded so harsh.I can't believe how much I must have hurt her! Why do I always end up hurting her, even when it's the last thing I'm trying to do?_

Noticing Tommy's distraction, Kwest started to get pissed. "Come on, man, wake up! Move! Do something! Jude's hurt!"

It was the last part of what Kwest saidthat brought Tommy back. "We need to get her to the emergency room or a hospital or something. She's lost a lot of blood. I'll take her in the Viper, it'll be the fastest," directed Tommy as he dug in his pocket for his keys.

"That's more like it," Kwest said as he picked an unconscious Jude up and threw her over his shoulder. Following Tommy, he made his way towards the infamous blue Viper.

On the trip to the Viper, Jude came to and felt like puking as she was bounced around upside down. _What the hell...? _Eventually she realized that Kwest was carrying her and she managed to croak out his name. "Kwest."

"Yeah, Jude?"

"Why am I on your shoulder?"

"You passed out and Tommy's gonna take you to the hospital."

"Oh, okay. But could you put me down before I hurl?"

"Are you sure, Jude? Are you positive that you feel ok to stand?"

"Well, I'm sure that I'm going to make a mess on your clothes if you don't put me down right now. As for how I'm feeling, I've been better. My hand hurts, not my feet."

_She may be hurt, but that didn't do anything to her sarcasm, _Tommy thought as he watched Kwest set Jude gently down on the ground.

Suddenly her eyes flashed as she remembered something. Jude turned and began heading back for the bus. Tommy and Kwest just looked at each other before they realized that she was going in the wrong direction.

Tommy tossed his keys to Kwest. "Go bring the car around while I get Jude," Tommy ordered as he chased after Jude.

"Jude! Jude, stop!" She turned around her head in acknowledgement but kept walking as Tommy caught up with her. "Where are you going? We need to get you the hospital to take care of your hand."

"What about Jamie?"

Tommy sighed. _How can she be so worried about Jamie when her hand's gushing blood? He probably just fainted from the sight of the blood_._Wuss._"Jamie'll be fine. See, everyone else is already on it. Now you need to get to go with me so we can take care of your hand. It's starting to look pretty bad."

"Not until I make sure that Jamie's okay. He's always been pretty queasy around blood, especially mine. I remember this one time when we were about eleven and I crashed my bike and scraped up my knee pretty bad..." Realizing who she was talking to, Jude trailed off.

"He'll be fine, Jude. Now come on."

"No! I. Want. To. See. Jamie. First." They were about ten feet away from the bus.

Frustrated, Tommy grabbed Jude's good wrist and began pulling her back as he heard the Viper pull around.

"Let me go, Tommy, I'm fine! A couple of minutes won't matter." Jude struggled but it was no use. Georgia and a few other people noticed Tommy and Jude arguing, as well as the drenched towel that was still wrapped around Jude's hand.

"Forget it." Tommy got in front of Jude and scooped her over his shoulder, just like Kwest had a couple of minutes ago. The only difference was, this time Jude was awake and definitely not happy. She began pounding on Tommy's back with her good hand and continued even though she knew it was futile.

Tommy ignored her and called back to Georgia. "Call Lutheran Memorial and tell them we're on our way. And call Jude's parents and tell them what's going on. I'll call you soon."

"What am I supposed to tell them? What happened? All I know is that Jude's hand is a bloody mess and she doesn't want to go to the hospital. Plus, I have her boyfriend passed out on my bus."

"You know as much as I do, G. I'll get the story out of Jude and let you know. Just call them."

Tommy had reached the Viper where Kwest was waiting.

"Man, I barely drove her a hundred feet. I can't imagine what it's like on the actual road."

"And you never will." Tommy noticed that Jude had stopped hitting his back. She just hung like a limp doll over his shoulder. "That was a once in a lifetime opportunity because there was an emergency. Now open thepassenger's door so Jude can get in."

Kwest opened the door as Tommy lowered Jude to a more upright and natural position on the ground. He finally perceived that Jude had passed out again. "Jude. Jude, wake up." Tommy lightly tapped her face in an attempt to get some response. Her head just flopped onto her other shoulder.

"Oh, shit, man!" Tommy exclaimed. "She must've lost more blood than we thought. I gotta get her help, now!"

Together Tommy and Kwest quickly secured Jude in the passenger's seat. "Thanks, Kwest," Tommy yelled as he peeled out of G Major's parking lot.

Kwest headed back to the bus where everyone was still standing, shocked, except for Georgia, who was busy dialing her phone. Speed could be heard from the bus where he was trying to wake Jamie up. Kwest sighed.

"Welcome home, Jude."

* * *

Jude woke up a few hours later to sterile white walls and bright lights, the kind that make everyone look washed out. She turned her head and noticed her mom sitting in a chair next to her bed, eyes closed, head in her hands. 

"Mom."

Victoria's head popped up. "Oh, Jude, honey, how do you feel?"

The memories came flooding back to Jude. She picked up her right hand and gasped when she saw it completely covered in a white bandage.

"Actually, I feel fine, although my hand's obviously numb. Why am I in a bed? All I did was cut my hand on the mirror."

Victoria sighed. "You cut it worse than you think. Some of the pieces went pretty deep and had to be stitched up. There were a couple that sliced through some muscle tissue, so it will be a little while before you can fully use your fingers again. You're mainly in the bed because there were a lot of cuts and you lost a lot of blood. Plus they gave you some drugs for the pain and said you'd be asleep for a while. Other than that, you're fine. They want to keep you overnight for observation, but you can go home tomorrow morning."

"Oh," Jude responded simply while she processed everything her mom had just told her.

"Sweetie, what hap-"

Just then Sadie walked in holding two cups of coffee. "Jude, you're awake." She set the cups down and walked over to Jude's bed, giving her a hug. Sadie opened her mouth to speak but Jude beat her to it.

"I'm fine," Jude answered before her sister could even ask. "Seriously. Maybe a little high from the drugs, but I'm okay."

A silence filled the room before Jude spoke. "Where's dad?"

Victoria and Sadie shot each other a look. It wasn't lost on Jude.

"We, um, couldn't get a hold of him. I tried again about an hour ago but I still couldn't reach him," Victoria answered.

Sadie looked at her mom, a silent question in her eyes. Victoria barely shook her head to signal "no" but Jude caught it.

"Okay, what's going on? What aren't you guys telling me?"

Neither of them answered. Sadie glanced back at her mom.

"Um, Sadie, why don't you go tell Georgia and the others that Jude's awake and she's fine."

"Ok," Sadie complied as she left the room, but not before shooting Jude a look, a look that she didn't understand.

Once the door closed behind Sadie, Victoria turned to her youngest daughter. Jude remained silent.

Another sigh came from Victoria. "Okay, um, there's something I need to tell you. Something big. Really big."

"Okay..." an extremely confused Jude said.

"I'm not really sure how to put this. I guess there's no delicate way of doing it, so I'm just going to say it." Victoria stopped talking.

"Mom?" Jude prodded, unsure.

Mother and daughter's eyes locked. "I'm pregnant."

It felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Jude didn't say anything, just stared at her mother. Then her eyes moved down to her mother's stomach, which didn't look much different than it always had. Then again, Jude had never really paid much attention to her mother's stomach, so it could be different and she wouldn't have noticed.

Victoria waited for Jude to say something. It took a minute, but Jude managed to express a rational thought.

"How far along are you?"

"About five or six weeks."

Jude nodded. Then a disturbing question hit her like a piano falling from the top of a 20-story building.

"And the father..." Jude trailed off and braced herself for her mother's answer.

"Your dad. Stuart."


	7. Burned Out

**A/N: **Please don't hate me! (Hides from tomatoes) I know it took a long time for me to get this out, and I'll apologize until my lungs collapse. I'm not going to give any excuses, because it's here now and you've waited long enough. Parts of this chapter were easy to write, others not quite. Like I've said before, nothing turns out how I plan. I can't think of anything specific to say, but I hope everyone had a great New Year's and got really wasted! (only if you're legal) There's no way I'm going to be able to wait seven years to get pissed at some New Year's party (shhh...lol).

Moving on, please read and review if you haven't forgotten about me and you don't hate me too much. This is by far the longest chapter I've written so far and a lot of stuff at the end is rambling, but everyone needs a good ramble every once in a while, don't you think?The part with Jamie will come into play in a little bit, it's not just pointless filler space. Tommy might seem a little out of character, sorry about that if you think he is.

Oh, part of my ever-lasting disclaimer comes into play in this part. See if you can spot it, even though it's horribly obvious! I absolutely love the movie I stole it from, hehe! Another random thought: I finally decided on a title! Fitting, huh? Sorry for constantly changing it on you guys and if it caused anyone trouble finding it. This one's here to stay! (unless I can think of a better one, of course! jk!)

There are some swear words in this one, so I apologize if they offend you. It figures that I put this little note in after I used a little cuss word in my author's note up there, but I'm too lazy to change the order. You understand. It's three in the morning and I've been working on this since, oh, I dunno, maybe 9? There were breaks and stuff in between, but it still took a long time! Shutting up now. Don't cheer too loud, please.

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**Chapter 7**

The doors burst open and the anxious teenagers shot to their cars, or their friend's car, or, for the unlucky few, the buses. Engines revved, windows rolled down, music blared, and tires screeched as everyone hurried to escape the prison that they had been trapped in for the past several hours. And it was only the first day.

By now the doors had closed, but they were opened again as three people walked outside into the still warm fall air. A tall guy with brown hair was in the middle and had his arms slung around the shoulders of the two shorter girls that were beside him. They jumped down the stairs, laughing the entire way until they were safely on even ground again. The laughter finally died as the three faced each other and the conversation came to an end, seeing as they all had to go somewhere else to do something else with somebody else.

There was a comfortable silence while the group caught their breath and thought about, well, whatever they were thinking about.

"I hate to admit it, but it actually feels kind of good to be back," Jamie announced as he turned around to look at the front of the school building that he'd be stuck in until next summer.

The blonde girl took a playful swing at Jamie, attempting to knock such blasphemous thoughts from his head. Fortunately for him, he managed to avoid the blow, which wasn't hard since she had pretty crappy aim to begin with.

"That just proves what I've known all along--you're a freak."

"Hey, I was just sharing my thoughts and being honest. No need for name-calling. And it really does feel nice to be back here. Seriously."

"Easy for you to say, Andrews. You ace every class you take. I, on the other hand, got a six percent in math...as a final grade. And you remember chemistry last year, right? I don't see why it matters so much, anyway. It's not like I'm going to be a doctor or anything," Jude mumbled.

"You never know..." Jamie teased, mimicking her mom.

The so far silent third party of the group spoke up. "Sorry guys, but I need to get going. It's the first day and my teachers have already dished out the homework. Good-bye to any possible chance of a social life this year."

Jude took pity on her friend and gave her a friendly hug. "Don't worry, Kat. Jamie and I will keep you informed. Well, I will at least since Jamie will actually do his homework and we all know I won't."

"Thanks. So I'll see you guys tomorrow?"

"Yep. English with Mr. Sanders, bright and early," Jamie chipped in, much too cheerfully in Jude's mind.

"Gee, I can't wait," Kat responded, her voice dripping with sarcasm and echoing Jude's thoughts.

Jude and Jamie gave their friend a final hug and waved as she drove off for home. Jude slipped her arm through Jamie's and rested her head on his shoulder as they wandered around the parking lot, looking for his car, which he finally got fixed. _I'm glad Jamie convinced me to call Kat and tell her about him and me being together. She seemed okay with it, which really surprised me after what happened before, but I guess I'm not the only one who changed over summer. I was just so afraid that she'd be mad or that it'd be really awkward when we saw each other, but it wasn't. I guess I really owe Jamie on that one. _Suddenly getting a mischievous idea, Jude sneakily stole something from the pocket of the guy she was walking with. He didn't seem to notice and they kept walking.

They finally reached the well-used station wagon and Jude disengaged herself from her best friend and boyfriend. _Boyfriend. _She tasted the word in her mouth, still getting used to it as one of the many titles for her oldest friend.

Jamie dug around in his pockets, looking around for his keys. It took him a while to notice his smirking girlfriend, but eventually he gave up his search and turned to her.

"Jude-"

"Looking for these?" she taunted as she swung the keys in front of his face.

"No, we're just standing outside of my car in the middle of the parking lot after school because I'm looking for some Chapstick. Of course I was looking for my keys." He held out his hand, palm up, the universal gesture for "hand it over." When she didn't give them up after a bit, he lunged for the pieces of shiny metal that she still had in her possession. She jumped out of the way of the attack and sprinted around to the other side of the car, keys clasped securely behind her back. Jamie gathered himself and turned to face the thief.

"Come on, Jude, give me the keys."

"Please, Jamie, you promised! And I've been doing so well, thanks to your wonderful instructions."

Jamie tried to hold back a smile. "First of all, I never promised anything. And if you think you've been doing really well so far, I can't imagine how you thought you were doing when we first started. But the flattery might get you somewhere."

"Please, Jamie?" Jude whined. She stuck out her bottom lip and titled her head so her chin was down and she was looking up at him. The whole charade was so uncharacteristic of Jude that Jamie had to laugh and concede to her plea.

The couple got in the car and slammed the doors shut, Jude on the driver's side and Jamie the passenger's. She flicked through the keys until she found the correct one and moved her hand to shove it into the ignition. Jamie watched and shot his hand out, grabbing her arm and halting its progress.

"Forgetting something?"

Jude just stared at him. Jamie sighed.

"Seat belt."

Jude reached over her shoulder and grabbed the belt, pulling it across her body and securing it firmly. She went for the ignition with the key, but once again Jamie stopped her.

"Seat position?"

Jude reached down and pulled the bar up to scoot her seat forward since Jamie was several inches taller than her. Satisfied with the new position, she tried to start the car again but was soon halted.

"Mirrors?"

Rolling her eyes, Jude checked her rearview mirrors and adjusted them properly so that she could actually see out of them. Completely determined that the key was actually going to reach the ignition this time, Jude guided her hand and was within inches of reaching her goal when Jamie's hand came out of nowhere again to stop her. Giving a large, frustrated sigh, Jude turned and glared at Jamie. He just smiled back at her.

"Kiss?"

Jude laughed at this and leaned over the counsel towards her boyfriend. However, her lips bypassed his and continued until they were hovering near his ear.

"I'm guessing I have to do this one if I want to get to G Major on time then?" she whispered seductively in the voice that every girl knows how to use against guys.

Jamie simply nodded his head, not trusting himself to speak with a steady voice. Jude laughed again and brought her head around until she could see into his eyes before they closed. She leaned in and gave Jamie a slow, soft, sweet kiss that was meant to torture the recipient. Jamie's eyes were still closed as Jude slowly drew her head back. She watched him for a second, then scooted back to a comfortable position and started the car like nothing happened.

Jamie's eyes popped open and Jude grinned devilishly at him.

"What?" Jamie inquired, not sure if he really wanted the answer.

"I feel the need...the need for speed!" she shouted as she slammed her foot on the gas pedal and peeled out of the parking lot with a horrified Jamie beside her.

Jude pulled into G Major's parking lot and killed the engine. She looked over at Jamie, whose white knuckles were still gripping the dashboard, even after she had come to a complete stop and parked.

"Oh, come on, Andrews, I'm not _that_ bad."

"Funny thing is, I seriously think you are."

Jude whacked him on the shoulder, still undecided whether she actually wanted it to hurt or not. "You've been giving me lessons for the past few weeks. I have to be better. And has no one ever told you that you're supposed to lie to your girlfriend about specific things, like when she asks if she looks fat in something you always say no, even if she does? 'Cause this is one of those specific situations."

Jamie just looked at Jude while he rubbed his shoulder, trying to decide whether or not she meant for it to hurt.

"Whatever, Jamie, I gotta get to work. I _am_ a famous rockstar now, you know, and I have to do famous rockstar things." She removed the keys and tossed them into Jamie's lap. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Yep."

Jude had opened the door and hopped out of the car before he could say anything more. Jamie sighed and opened his own car door. He got out and walked around the car to the driver's side, where he got in and settled himself in the spot that Jude had just vacated.

Jude had gone about ten steps before she stopped dead in her steps and began to backtrack to Jamie's car. He was struggling to get the key into the ignition when the door was opened and Jude grabbed him and pulled him out. Before he could figure out what was happening Jude had captured his lips with hers and started a serious make-out session, ironically enough in the parking lot of where she worked. After a few minutes Jude pulled away, turned on her heel, and strutted towards the doors of G Major. Jamie just stared at her retreating form, trying to control his thoughts and his hormones.

Feeling his eyes on her back, Jude twirled around to see Jamie's goofy grin.

"See what happens when you don't wear your seat belt, Andrews?"

"Jude. Jude? Jude!" Tommy shouted, exasperated that his protégé was asleep at work. Again.

Jude, obviously still asleep, mumbled something incoherent and swatted at the invisible hand that was trying to wake her from her slumber. Her head was resting on the open notebook that she had been working in. The pen was still limply clasped in her left hand, waiting to transmit in poor penmanship the words from her head onto paper that would eventually be emitted in her beautiful voice for all of the world to hear, to contemplate, to judge, and to criticize.

The hand wasn't so imaginary anymore. Tommy reached out and began to gently shake Jude, trying to coax her to wake up while not pissing her off at the same time. He finally gave up after a couple of minutes and began digging around in a pile of CD's. Finding what he wanted, Tommy walked over to the CD player and inserted the shiny disc. Smiling to himself and knowing from experience that he was going to deeply regret it later, Tommy pushed play.

_You just can't take the me out of me  
Cuz that's what I need the world to see  
You just can't take the me out of me  
Oh there's no one else I'd rather be _

As the upbeat music blared from the speakers, Jude jumped from her seat, eyes big and wild. The pen flew across the room, hit the glass to the recording studio, and fell to the floor. Her right hand slammed into the soundboard, causing her to wince in pain, but not as badly as she used to. The pain wasn't as bad as it used to be, partly because her hand had healed a little bit, partly because she was used to banging it by now, but mostly because she was too tired to care.

Later came only seconds later for Tommy. Seeing Jude's face as her hand crashed into yet another hard and solid object, Tommy regretted his decision. But he knew he would also pretend to regret the retribution Jude was about to give him while secretly cherishing it. It made it feel like old times when there were no worries between the two of them. _What's happened? What have I done? What has the world done to us?_ He turned off the stereo and prepared himself to receive a tongue lashing from a former fiery red head. The fire still existed, but not the red hair. Tommy was still trying to get used to the dramatic change in her appearance, even though he'd had weeks to grow accustomed to it.

Tommy waited, but the air remained untouched by sound vibrations from Jude's voice box. All that could be heard was the breathing of the two people in the room, one steady, one working to recapture control.

He kept waiting, but still nothing came. This worried Tommy. Jude had been falling asleep a lot recently in the studio. The last few times Tommy had the brilliant idea to blast a song from the stereo to wake her up. Jude used to spring up like a mad woman from wherever she had fallen into her slumber and berate him for being a jerk and whatever else she felt like complaining about him. It was all in good humor, or at least Tommy hoped, and they would get over it quickly and get back to work.

The ex-BoyzAttacker couldn't stand the silence any longer, it was so uncharacteristic for either of them.

"Jude?" Tommy asked quietly, wondering if she had fallen asleep again.

"Yeah. Sorry, Tommy. I'll get back to work. It won't happen again," Jude responded wearily as she began searching for the pen that had gotten to be an F-14 for a few seconds. Finding her prey, Jude slumped back into her seat and picked up the notebook, going over the last things she had written down in her craggy, messy, and unreadable to everyone else left-handed handwriting.

He was speechless. Jude didn't notice, of course, but Tommy just stood there, immobile, for at least a minute before he was able to collect his thoughts. _Where did Jude go? _She hadn't yelled or thrown a tantrum or fit of any kind. She just sat there. Defeated. The fire was out. _Where is it? Who or what put it out? Damnit, what happened! Someone needs to get it going again or we're in trouble. This album is in trouble. I'm in trouble. She's in trouble. _

The last thought slammed into Tommy like an 18-wheeler. He forced his eyes to focus on the figure before him and study it, really study it. He noticed the neglected hair, the dark circles under her eyes, the poor state of her fingernails, the completely mismatched clothes, and the way the clothes were too loose on her body. Jude had always been skinny, but this was too skinny. Even Tommy could tell that. But what he noticed most were her eyes. They were blank. Drained. Empty. Dead. Tommy had never seen them like this before, and it scared the shit out of him.

Tommy squeezed his eyes shut as the pounding started in his head, which always signaled the beginning of some serious thinking. He sighed and started going over in his head the past weeks since Jude had returned and learned the shocking news about her mother. A lot had happened to Jude in just the last several months, more than any girl her age should have to handle, let alone with millions of other people reading about it in the tabloids, too. She became a famous rockstar, and that in itself is enough to make a person go insane with all of the pressure and gossip and so on. Add to that the fact that she was a beautiful and talented new celebrity with the entire world watching and waiting for her to make a mistake, drama was inevitable.

There was the huge Shay and Eden ordeal on her birthday, and then Tommy helped add to that mess that had become her emotional state in one night. He skipped that section of history fairly quickly, not wanting to dwell on everything that had happened. No one had thought it could get any worse than having your boyfriend tell you on your sixteenth birthday that he had been cheating on you with your nemesis, a Barbie and wannabe Britney Spears that couldn't even sing. Tommy smiled as he remembered Music Helps and Eden's pathetic attempt to sing Jude's song after she bailed for a still unknown reason.

But apparently it could get worse, and did. Jude caught her dad cheating, the one guy she thought she could trust in the world, her hero, her rock, her daddy. It devastated her, and she did what any girl would've done. She wrote a song about it and sang it, live, on television to millions of people. It had taken Tommy a while to figure that one out. He still couldn't believe how conceited he had been, thinking the song had been about him. But that only caused him to admit her true gift as a songwriter, being able to write a song that could fit to so many scenarios. That's why people loved her music; she put emotion into words and music and shared it with people who could relate to it.

Tommy dragged himself away from thinking about Jude's music, however much he enjoyed it. There were problems with her friends, constantly, but that seemed to have worked itself out for now. Jamie, Jude, and Kat were still best friends, even though Jude and Jamie were dating, and none of them hated each other. Kat had supposedly forgiven all and they were fine. At least, that's what Tommy had been able to figure out.

The Harrison family was a completely different matter all together. Sadie and Jude had managed to get over their major differences and actually be sisters, so they were closer than ever now. Tommy still wasn't sure how Jude felt about the bomb that her mom had dropped on her. Learning that your parents would be having another little brother or sister even though they divorced was definitely the cherry on top. Jude didn't talk about it much, but she seemed okay about it. Even though he and Jude were friends again, she didn't confide in him like she used to. She still did occasionally, but it usually wasn't about anything that serious. She'd never mentioned her dad.

A conversation he had with Sadie a little while ago came to Tommy's mind. She had mentioned that her mom was having the worse morning sickness ever, except that it was always in the middle of the night. Since Stuart wasn't around and Sadie was living on the other side of town in her dorm for college, Jude was the one to get up and take care of her mom. Jude herself hadn't said a word about it and she never complained about it, just accepted it. Also, Victoria had to get a new job because she couldn't handle her current one with her pregnancy. She now worked from the early afternoon until evening, which was when she felt the best. Then she was up all night being sick and she slept in the mornings. As a result, Jude was the one to cook dinner, do laundry, and clean the house. Thinking about it, Tommy realized that Jude had to deal with school, friends, a boyfriend, family, her home life, and work here at G Major. Then there were those dumb tabloids, always making stuff up when they felt that things got a little too boring in a famous person's life. They were annoying and could ruin anybody's day, especially when someone was already down.

There was all of that in Jude's life, and he hadn't even gotten into what was going on at G Major. Simply put, she hadn't produced a hit single for the label yet and they'd only done two songs since she had returned from her tour, which ended weeks ago. At first Tommy blamed most of it on the fact that she couldn't play guitar because of her injured hand. Since she couldn't play, she wrote lyrics, or at least he thought that's what she'd been doing for the past weeks. But after thinking about it, Tommy realized that she hardly had anything to show him these days. He always figured that as soon as the doctor okayed the use of her right hand again, things would be back to normal and she'd start turning out songs left and right. That was supposed to be in about two weeks if he remembered correctly. Tommy had never really understood all of the things that were wrong with her hand, just some stuff involving damaged muscle tissue that needed a long time to heal completely before being used again. All he knew was that she couldn't play her damn guitar.

Tommy mentally slammed his head into a hard brick wall at least fifty times. How could he have been so stupid, so selfish, so..._oblivious_. Jude had been going through all of this and he hadn't noticed it. Did he not care as much about her as he thought he did? Was he too preoccupied with his own life to even acknowledge it? Or had Jude just become better at hiding things_? It doesn't matter_, Tommy finally decided_. This is how it is now, and I need to do something. But what? What the hell can I do to make things better for her? Most of the time I just end up making them worse_.

It took a while, but Tommy had finally concluded what was wrong with Jude.

_The fire is out of fuel_.

Thinking back to what he had learned in middle school science before the whole BoyzAttack escapade, Tommy realized that Jude was a fire, obviously. Fire requires three things: heat, oxygen, and fuel. Jude was simply out of fuel and needed to be replenished. The only problem was, he wasn't quite sure how to do that. Tommy had no idea what Jude needed, for once. That wasn't completely true, though. He could think of one immediate thing.

Jude had begun to nod off again and Tommy gently tapped her shoulder to revive her. She turned and looked at Tommy, eyes still blank. But Tommy realized that they weren't exactly blank, just dormant. They were exhausted.

He spoke quietly, but kindly and firmly to the blonde staring at him. "Go home, Jude. Get some sleep. Don't come back until you're sure you have enough energy to actually work. 'Cause when you do come back, you're going to be working ten times as hard because your album is way behind. Don't worry about Georgia or Darius or anyone else, just go home and sleep. You need it."

Jude let out a visible sigh of relief and seemed to relax. She leaned her forehead against Tommy's, that simple gesture saying it all. Without a single word or protestation, Jude grabbed her stuff and left G Major, already dreaming of the bliss that was waiting for her in her bed at home.


	8. Confessions

**A/N: It's been a looooooooong time, I know, and I'm sorry. This chapter isn't really done but I'm just going to make the second part Chapter 9, so it should be out a lot sooner than this one was. And I've realized that realism is going to fly out the windowin a little bit because, well, real is boring. It won't be completely off the wall but I doubt it will all ever happen. So, here is the chapter that took forever and I'm really sorry because I think it's going to disappoint., but hopefully the next one will be better.

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**Chapter 8: Confessions**

(Monday)

The difference amazed her. A weekend at Kat's filled with movies, sleeping bags, popcorn, and Haagen Dazs, of course, and Jude felt somewhat normal again. At the beginning of the weekend she felt slightly guilty for abandoning her mom, but Sadie came home over the weekend for a surprise visit and Jude's conscience was appeased. Taking a deep breath, Jude steeled herself and opened the doors to G Major. _Bring it on!_ Jude paused when the door was halfway open and shook her head. _Where the hell did that come from? _Then she laughed as she remembered all of the movies she and Kat had watched together that weekend, mainly chick flicks. One of them _was Bring It On_, and Kat had shouted along with practically every cheer there was. Recovering from her relapse, Jude fully entered G Major and headed for Studio A, where she knew Tommy and Kwest would be waiting for her.

(Wednesday)

"You've been doing great these last few days, girl."

"Thanks, Tommy. I guess I really needed that rest. You're like my big brother, always taking care of me," Jude responded then sighed, tension etched clearly in her face.

_You're like my **big brother**_. The words rang in Tommy's head, but he pushed them aside as he noticed Jude's sigh and strained face. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Let's just get back to work. I think we should try switching-"

Tommy cut Jude off. "Don't try that on me, Jude, I know you and I know when something's wrong. Spill."

"Sometimes it scares me just how well. Anyway, it's Jamie."

Tommy simply raised his eyebrows and she continued.

"Well, it's my fault that things are the way they are between us right now: tense. You know how stressed I've been lately and there's just been no time for anything else in my schedule. I've been completely neglecting Jamie and Kat and my grades at school suck, but that's nothing new. Kat was great this weekend and so understanding about, just, everything. But I hardly see Jamie at all anymore and we're both becoming really frustrated. We're finally going out tonight since forever and I'm just worried about how we're going to act around each other. He's been so good to me and I just end up treating him like crap. I hate it, because I swore I'd never do that."

"I definitely know how you're feeling right now."

Jude just gave him a puzzled look.

Tommy continued, "Things between me and Sadie are just like you said: tense. Since she lives farther away it's hard for us to see each other as often, especially since I work so much. I'm always working and she's always at class or doing homework. We just never see one another, and now I'm working even more to keep Darius happy which means that Sadie is basically feeling ignored because I have no time for her."

"Ah, the glamorous life of a rock star. Sorry, I meant the glamorous lives of a rock star and an ex-boybander. My bad," Jude teased.

Tommy just rolled his eyes and moved back over to the sound board. "Well whatever a rock star's life is like, this particular rock star needs to get back to word because she is still way behind on her album and has an evil manger who's going to blow at any minute."

He noticed that Jude didn't move so Tommy turned back around so he was facing her.

"What else besides Jamie is bothering you?" Tommy asked gently.

"I can't hide anything from you, can I?" Jude sighed. "My mom and dad have been arguing over my career lately. A lot. They're supposed to meet up tomorrow night again to discuss it and some other things. They're still fighting even though they're divorced. Even though it happened while I was on tour a while ago it's still hard for me to accept the fact that my parents are divorced and my dad is living in a separate house. And then with the baby on the way, everything is so messed up!"

Tommy remained silent, digesting the information. He watched Jude as she held a chunk of her hair in front of her face then flung it away in disgust.

Puzzled, he questioned, "I thought you liked your hair blonde?"

Jude emitted a sharp, bitter laugh. "And I thought you _knew_ me, Quincy. I hate it, I never wanted it in the first place. Ever since I dyed it I've been pretending and every single person has bought it. If this ever doesn't work out for some reason who knows, maybe I could make it as an actress. I never should have doubted when people said that what Darius wants, Darius gets."

With that Jude hopped up and headed for the door. "I'm gonna go get something to drink. You want something, Tommy?" Before he could answer she was already out the door and on her way to the kitchenette, where all problems could be avoided for a few minutes with a bottle of water or a pop.

When Jude came back, she got straight to work and Tommy decided to drop their previous conversation.

The next couple of hours flew by, and before they knew it the clock read seven. Completely engrossed in their work, both Tommy and Jude jumped when Kwest poked his head through the door.

"Hey guys, Jamie and Sadie are in the lobby waiting for you. So I guess you both have dates tonight?"

"That would be correct, Kwest. Thanks for telling us." Tommy stood up, stretched, and grabbed his jacket off of the back of the chair he had been sitting in. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Jude grabbed her bag and jacket as well. "See you guys both."

All three of them exited the studio. Jude joined Jamie in the lobby as Tommy met up with Sadie. Saying goodbye to Georgia and EJ, the four left at the same time, the sisters giving each other a secret wink of encouragement as they walked in the parking lot. The boys opened the doors for the girls like perfect gentlemen before they drove off in separate directions.

Jude sighed as she watched the blue Viper disappear with Tommy in the passenger side mirror...

Tommy sighed as he watched the old station-wagon disappear with Jude in his rearview mirror...

(Friday)

"Jude we really need to nail this song. The deadline for this album is a lot closer than you think."

Jude clenched her teeth and flung her notebook across the room. Unfortunately it went in the direction of the wall with the framed photographs hanging up and struck gold. She just watched as it crashed into a picture of her and shattered the glass, and then as everything, the notebook, the glass, the picture, and the frame, all cascaded down onto the carpet, making a pretty little mess.

"You think I don't know that Tommy? That's all I've been hearing about, the stupid album and when I'm going to get it done! I wish everyone would just stop hounding me about it! I still have two and a half months to finish it!" Jude stood up and began pace around the small space, now even smaller because of the debris littered across it. She ran her hands through her hair and just pulled, wishing she could pull everything out of her mind so she could relax for a single minute. That's all she wanted, a simple minute of peace and quiet with no stress and no worries about anything.

Tommy was still sitting there, staring at floor covered in little shards of glass. What he was really concerned about was the fact that she destroyed her own picture and didn't care, that she almost seemed to enjoy it. Snapping back to what was happening in the studio, Tommy tried his best to calm Jude down. It'd been a while since he'd seen her this overwhelmed, so something serious must have happened.

"Whoa, Jude, calm down. I didn't mean to nag you, this is just a lot harder than I thought it would be. But the album's not why you're so upset. What happened? You can tell me."

Jude finally stopped pacing. Her shoulders sagged and she leaned against the wall for support then slowly slid down. She rested her head on her knees and place her hands on top of her head.

"I don't know."

"Are you sure? Hasn't there been something, anything, that's happened the past few days to make you like this?"

The blonde was silent for a moment. "Well, the meeting last night between my mom and dad was horrible. I don't want to go into details and I wasn't even there, but it was bad, real bad. My mom came home and..."

And there Jude stopped. She stood up and made a beeline for the recording studio. Tommy was still trying to figure out what was so horrible and was confused as to why she was going into the recording studio. They didn't have a song that was even close to being able to be recorded and he couldn't think of which one she'd want to sing right now anyway.

Once inside, Jude began tearing at the bandage around her hand. After some fervent tugging and ripping, she finally managed to free her hand and tossed the material aside.

"Jude, what the hell are you doing? You're supposed to keep your hand wrapped for at least another week or two! Jude!"

She just ignored him and grabbed the nearest guitar off the rack. It didn't matter which one, any would do. She then proceeded to jam a headset on and positioned herself in front of the microphone.

"Hit record," she demanded, her voice denying any argument.

Extremely worried but clueless as to what he could do, Tommy did as Jude ordered. Kwest walked in and threw his keys on the counter and slung his jacket over a chair.

"Hey Tommy, what's up? How's our girl doing? You guys finish any of those songs?"

Tommy just waved his hand at Kwest to be quiet. It wasn't until then that he noticed Jude sitting in the recording studio without the bandages on her hand but with a guitar in them. Kwest was about to ask Tommy what as going on but realized that Tommy was focused on Jude and he wouldn't receive an answer. Utterly perplexed, Kwest took a seat and watched Jude as she began playing.

_I wait for the postman to bring me a letter  
I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better  
And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders  
A family in crisis that only grows older _

Why'd you have to go  
Why'd you have to go  
Why'd you have to go

Daughter to father, daughter to father  
I am broken but I am hoping  
Daughter to father, daughter to father  
I am crying, a part of me is dying and  
These are, these are  
The confessions of a broken heart

And I wear all your old clothes, your polo sweater  
I dream of another you  
The one who would never (never)  
Leave me alone to pick up the pieces  
A daddy to hold me, that's what I needed

So why'd you have to go  
Why'd you have to go  
Why'd you have to go!

Daughter to father, daughter to father  
I don't know you, but I still want to  
Daughter to father, daughter to father  
Tell me the truth, did you ever love me  
Cause these are, these are  
The confessions of a broken heart

I love you,  
I love you  
I love you  
I...!  
I love you!

Daughter to father, daughter to father  
I don't know you, but I still want to  
Daughter to father, daughter to father  
Tell me the truth...  
Did you ever love me?  
Did you ever love me?  
These are...  
The confessions...of a broken heart

Ohhh...yeah

I wait for the postman to bring me a letter..

Jude didn't know and didn't care when the tears had begun to stream down her face. With a sob she dropped the guitar and rushed out. Tommy and Kwest remained immobile, too shocked to do anything just yet. Jude rushed past them and made it to the door. She paused, and quickly turned around and grabbed Kwest's keys from the counter then bolted out the door.

Kwest finally recovered from his daze and shouted, "Tommy!"

Tommy didn't moved so Kwest tried again, louder this time.

"Tommy!"

Tommy gave a little jolt and finally responded. "Huh? Wha...where's Jude?"

"I don't know, man! She finished the song and rushed out of here before I could even blink. She took my car keys, Tommy!"

"Car keys?" Realization finally hit Tommy. "Oh shit! Come on, man, we gotta find her before she hurts somebody. I told you she can't drive and especially not now when she's so emotional!"

Tommy and Kwest grabbed their jackets and raced out to the parking lot. They got outside in time to see Jude shoot out of the parking lot in Kwest's yellow Mustang.

"This is so not good!" Kwest said as they sprinted for the Viper.

"Tommy, man, why the hell do you park so far out here?"

"Because no one else does. I'm not going to take the chance of some idiot scratching my car."

"So a scratch on your car is worth more than mine being totaled with Jude in it?"

Tommy made no reply as they reached the infamous car of Little Tommy Q. They quickly jumped in and sped off, not sure of where exactly they were going.

Kwest was the first to verbalize their dilemma. "Where do you think she's going?"

It didn't take Tommy long to come up with the most plausible place. "My best guess is her dad's."

"Well where is that?"

"It's--oh." Tommy realized that he didn't know where Jude's dad was living now since the divorce. Tommy whipped out his cell phone and hit number one on his speed dial to call Sadie. Jude used to be number one but he knew Sadie had a habit of going through other people's cell phones and he knew she wouldn't be too happy to find out that she was number two on speed dial and Jude was number one, so he changed it.

It rang a few times that seemed like hours to Tommy before Sadie picked up.

"Hey, baby," she answered.

"Sadie, where does your dad live now?" Tommy asked, trying not to sound too forceful.

"What? Why do you want to know?"

"I'll explain it to you later, I promise, but right now I just really need to know the address of where your dad lives now." Tommy prayed that Sadie would just accept it and give him the information he wanted.

"Um, ok. It's 312 Lansing Avenue. Why?"

"Thanks, Sadie. I'll call you later." With that Tommy snapped his phone shut and made a hard left. Kwest was slammed into the door and glared at Tommy, who didn't even notice. His only goal at the moment was to find Jude at her dad's place and hopefully not somewhere along the way, smashed into a telephone pole or tree.

A couple of minutes later and they reached Stuart's place. They recognized Kwest's yellow mustang sitting in the driveway with the driver's door wide open. Tommy looked at the house and let out the breath he had unconsciously been holding when he saw a familiar blonde.

* * *

**For anyone who doesn't know, the song is "Confessions of a Broken Heart" by Lindsay Lohan. Sorry if you don't like her but it's there to stay. **


	9. Confessions II

**Chapter 9: Confessions II**

Jude stormed out of her father's house, sobbing. Stuart Harrison was right behind her, trying to do something, anything, that would keep him from losing his baby girl.

"Jude, sweetie-"

He was cut off as his youngest daughter whirled around on him, almost causing a collision. "You just don't get it, do you? You broke this family. You broke us. You broke mom and you broke Sadie. You broke me. We're all broken. Broken, like that vase I knocked over when I was six. We can't be repaired. And it's all your fault."

Stuart just looked at his beautiful daughter, all words escaping him.

In a much softer voice, Jude said her final piece. "It was all you. My _daddy_ broke me, the one guy in the world who was supposed to keep me safe and protect me from everything. I've been broken so many fucking times...the only guy who hasn't _completely_ shattered me yet is Jamie, and I'm sure that will happen in due time with the way things go in my life. No one can pick up the fucking pieces anymore, there's too many and they're too small. And now all I am is broken and worthless. That's it."

Before Stuart could say anything, Jude turned and sprinted across his lawn, trying to run away from everything. The neighborhood was still relatively new to her and she didn't know where anything was, so she just ran and ran, not caring where, just away. Blinded by tears and her emotions, Jude didn't see anything, not her father, not Kwest's abandoned car, not the road, not the trees, and not the blue Viper next to the curb.

But Kwest and Tommy saw Jude, and Stuart, and Kwest's car. They had arrived at Stuart's home in time to see Jude burst from the front door and yell at her father. Tommy and Kwest stared and Jude as she darted away, aghast at what she had just said to her father. Tommy knew Stuart had really hurt the Harrison girls when he cheated with Yvette, but _damn,_ it must have affected Jude more than anyone thought.

Tommy switched his gaze from Jude's retreating form to Stuart. There was only one world that could describe Stuart's mien: defeated. His shoulders sag and his body appeared lifeless. But the worst part of everything was his eyes. Even though Tommy was quite a ways away from him, the agony was unmistakable in Stuart's face. Tommy had never seen anything like it and sure as hell wished that he'd never have to experience it.

By this time Jude had escaped from view and Kwest jumped out of the Viper and rushed towards his own baby. Running up to it, Kwest lovingly ran his hands over his Mustang as he noted the absence of any damaging marks. Thanking his lucky stars for his car's safety and Jude's, Kwest hopped in the driver's seat and closed to door to find the keys still in the ignition. He backed out of the driveway and pulled up alongside Tommy's Viper. They both rolled their windows down.

"What do you think we should do, Tommy? Jude's definitely an emotional roller coaster and she's in no state to be wandering around an unfamiliar neighborhood. We gotta find her."

"I know, man, I know. She couldn't have gotten far, she's only been gone for a few minutes and she's on foot. I'm not really acquainted with this neighborhood either so let's split up and just keep an eye out for her while we drive around. There's not much else we can do."

"All right. But what do you want me to do if I find her?" Kwest asked.

Tommy thought for a second. "Just call me on my cell and tell me where you are. I'll get there as quick as I can. If I find her first then I'll call you. Sound good?"

"Yeah."

Without another word Tommy peeled off down the street in the direction that he thought Jude was running in.

* * *

Tommy quietly stepped behind a tree and whipped out his cell phone. "Hey, Kwest, it's me. I found her." Pause. "Yeah, she's fine, or at least I think she is. Just do me a favor and go tell her dad that she's ok. He looked pretty worried when we left. I'll call you later and tell you how it goes." Another pause. "Thanks, man. Bye."

Tommy stuffed his phone back into his pocket and cautiously stepped out from behind the tree. Before moving towards Jude, he just stood and watched her for a moment.

It didn't surprise him where he ended up finding her. There really wasn't anywhere else for her to go in this neighborhood; it was all houses, except for a small park. Now the park may have been small compared to some of the other ones in Toronto, but it still took Tommy a good twenty minutes of searching to finally find his punk princess.

Jude was sitting on the ground next to a small pound. Her knees were drawn up to her chest and one arm was wrapped securely around them while the other guided her finger around in the cool, murky water. Her hand had no direction, no pattern; it was just an absent movement while her mind and emotions were in overdrive. Jude's chin was resting on her knees while her eyes were aimed at the water and trees, yet they registered nothing. She was lost in her thoughts and never noticed the figure approaching her from behind.

"Hey."

Even though Tommy's gentle voice surprised her, Jude didn't react. She simply continued the random motion of her hand in the water and remained silent.

"What happened, girl? What was that?"

Jude continued the movement of her hand but her mouth stayed immobile.

"Jude?"

She slowly lifted her head from its resting place and sighed. By now Tommy had come up and sat down off to the side and a little ways behind her. Jude stared across the water for several seconds before turning her head slightly and looking at Tommy over her shoulder.

"Are you sure you want to know, Tommy?"

He focused and locked his own eyes on hers before nodding, "Yeah, I do, but only if _you_ want to tell me. It's up to you."

Jude turned her head away and said in a mocking tone, "You don't know already?" Tommy didn't say anything so she continued. "Ladies and gentlemen, mark your calendars, because today Little Tommy Q doesn't have the answer."

She returned her gaze to the all too familiar one of her producer, her best friend, her_...don't say it. Jude Harrison, don't you dare say it, dammit. Tommy is nothing more than your friend and never will be anything else. Why the hell am I thinking about Tommy right now? He should be the last thing on my mind. **Maybe because he's sitting right next to you and staring into your eyes like he can see through you, all the way down to your soul.** Yeah, that's probably it._

Tommy didn't say anything to that, either. He just looked at her, trying to untie the obviously twisted and tormented mind of the girl sitting next to him. _Come on, Jude, put down your wall for just a little while and talk to me. **Please**. Not being able to help you is killing me, too._

"Temporary insanity, Tommy, that's what. Temporary...fucking...insanity." It seemed like Tommy was going to speak, but Jude continued, cutting off whatever he might have been about to say. "But you know, lately I've been thinking that maybe, just maybe, it's not so temporary."

In truth Tommy was speechless, but it'd been so long since he'd spoken and he knew he had to say something now. "You don't mean that, Jude. You are definitely _not_ insane, although you are a little crazy at times, more often than not." Tommy watched Jude, hoping for some kind of reaction. She merely blinked. "Ok, excuse my pathetic attempt for a joke. But that's not the point." Tommy took a deep breath. "Jude, you're not insane or crazy, simply emotional and hormonal and on the roller coaster of your life with no bathroom breaks. I can't believe how far you've made it already. You're not even seventeen yet and you've been forced to deal with so much in your life, and it doesn't help having it broadcasted to millions of other people. You are by far one of the strongest people I have ever met, quite possible _the _strongest. This...this is nothing. Wait, correction. It is something, something important, but you've dealt with worse and I know you'll get through this. It won't be easy, nothing ever has been for you, but you'll get through it ok. There might be some bumps and bruises and scratches, but those will heal. No matter what life throws at you, you take it head on, and you make it through in one piece." There was a pause. "You're unbelievable, girl. **Unbelievable**."

What could she say to that? No one had ever believed in her as much as Tommy did, and it was nice to hear it. Sometimes people didn't realize how crucial support and encouragement were to a person, especially from people close to them. _They always say the nicest things..._

Not realizing what they were doing, Jude and Tommy shifted closer together, facing each other. As if pulled by a magnet, their lips drew closer to each other, just waiting to ignite the sparks. It was like Jude was flint and Tommy was steel, a fire just waiting to happen.

A lock of Jude's hair fell across her face as she was leaning towards Tommy. The sudden flash of blonde hair color made Jude snap back to reality and things that could never be.

"Sadie..." Jude barely whispered but just loud enough so that Tommy could hear it before she pulled away and turned her head back to the lake, trying to compose her thoughts and feelings. _Not again...Why does he always do this to me, why?_

At the mention of his girlfriend's name, Tommy began to blink rapidly, like he was trying to remember who she was. It finally clicked and Tommy quickly retreated away from Jude. _Dammit, Quincy, that was **way** too close. You can't keep doing this, it's not fair to Jude or Sadie. _He let out a sigh. _Why does someone always have to get hurt?_

Knowing that Jude wasn't going to be the one to initiate conversation this time, Tommy did what he could to salvage the situation. "So, um, you wanna talk about your dad?"

"No."

"Oh, ok then. You want me to take you home?"

"No."

"Do you just want to sit here then?"

"No."

Getting frustrated, Tommy clenched his teeth tried to relax as he asked another question. "Well, could you at least give me more than one syllable answer?"

"No."

It took all the will power Tommy had not to reach over and strangle Jude right then, as much as he wanted to.

Still in a soft voice, Jude finally gave him a useful answer. "Can you take me to the studio? Please?"

Visibly relaxing, Tommy agreed. "Sure."

He stood up first and then offered his hand to help Jude up. After a slight hesitation, Jude placed her delicate hand in his and stood as he helped support her until she regained her balance.

The pair walked out of the park to the parking lot, where the illustrious blue Viper was waiting. Neither of them said a word to the other during the entire ride to G Major. What was there to say? Or more like, what _could_ they say?

Arriving at the familiar building, Tommy killed the ignition. A silent moment passed.

"Thanks," Jude said softly.

"Anytime," replied Tommy.

With a nod, Jude unbuckled and exited the car with Tommy not far behind.

Realizing that Jude wouldn't be working, Tommy left her in the lounge and headed to Studio A to work. Meanwhile, Jude grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator in the kitchenette and returned to the lounge. She stretched out on the couch and stared at the ceiling, attempting to sort through her muddled and confused thoughts.

* * *

It'd been about an hour since Jude and Tommy had returned to G Major and Tommy was busy working on mixing some tracks for another one of his artists. He knew he couldn't do anything with Jude's music, not now, so he did his best to try and get her and everything that had just happened out of his mind.

A soft knock on the door caused him to turn around.

"Hey."

"Hey. How are you Jude, honestly?"

She sighed. "Better. I'm not sure if I'm ok yet, but I'm getting there. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I'm about to take off."

"Do you need a ride?"

"Nah, I was just gonna call Jamie."

"Are you sure? 'Cause I really don't mind. I should be done here pretty soon, anyway."

"Yeah, it's fine. You've done enough today already. Plus, I just really feel like seeing Jamie right now."

A little hurt, but hiding it well, Tommy said. "Ok, then. I guess I'll see you later."

"Yeah." Jude paused. "I know I said it earlier, but thanks, really." She gave him a small, quick smile then turned at left.

Pulling her phone from her pocket, Jude dialed some numbers and put the phone to her ear. After a few minutes, she flipped it closed and resumed a seat on the couch while she waited.


End file.
